Psychologist Naciye Tokaç noted that just as there is the right time for many things in life, there is also the right time for marriage and having children, and said, “Sometimes, while one should plan for these times and think about the opportunities and conditions; Sometimes it occurs naturally and spontaneously. For many couples who get married, the expectation is to have children. However, it is very important for a couple to be ready for a child," he said. period. This is a very difficult period in which individuals experience difficulties both personally and as a couple, and may even lead to separation. For this reason, the first year, when dealing with the pregnancy process, will be a problematic period for the couple who are not yet fully accustomed to each other and living together. For many couples who have survived the first year and are now embracing married life, the right time may be to enter the third year as a family with children. The most important factor that can affect having children is the age of individuals and therefore their own personal development levels, rather than the year of marriage. Marriage before the age of 21 for men and 18 for women; I think it is not suitable because they will have difficulty coping with the difficulties that marriage may bring. Therefore, in order to become a parent, these ages must definitely be completed. Even his individual development; "You can guess that individuals who have not completed puberty will not be able to give birth to a child and give him the necessary development," he said.
Tokaç said that if one of the couples has a problem such as smoking, alcohol and substance addiction and this affects the marriage negatively, this situation Noting that a child at home can also negatively affect his or her life, he said: Another important condition for pregnancy and having a child is; It is about love, respect and communication between couples. Disagreements and problems in marriages When seen, it is often hoped that having a child can resolve problems between couples and bring them closer. However, having children is for couples who have lost love and respect for each other; It will serve no purpose other than obligation and self-restriction, and will lead to deterioration in the couples' own mental health.
For this reason, if there are principles of love and respect between the couples and they feel committed to each other, it can be said that it is an appropriate time to have children. Another important issue for pregnancy and having a child is whether the family has enough income for a child. One of the undeniable facts; Caring for and raising a child is quite expensive. If the family covers expenses such as doctor's fees and birth during pregnancy; If parents do not have a plan to manage postpartum life normally, they will have difficulty in spending productive and quality time with their children, as they will be forced and in a hurry to make ends meet. Thus, while trying to care for their children and meet their needs; It will be inevitable for them to neglect their psychological needs, which are the most important for the child.”
Tokaç said, “However, it should not be forgotten that; It's not just a child being brought into the world. An individual who will become an adult and is brought into society. We often encounter childhood traumas of many individuals with mental disorders in their adult lives. For this reason, a child should be born at a time when you, your family and social conditions are most suitable; "So that the spiritual needs of the newborn child can be met," he said.
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