Freud, spiritual structure; It is defined by three components: id, ego and superego:
The "id" is responsible for our desires. It is the duty of the "id" to express our wishes. The equivalent of controlling the "id" in our religion is "controlling the self". Whispering to us the desires caused by both our pleasant and harmful emotions; acting hastily; who pressures us to get almost everything we want; It is our "id", which is the spokesperson and voice of our desires that know no time, space or boundaries.
Those who are the cause of the rapes, murders, fights and serious injuries we face on the third pages of the newspapers; They are people who cannot control their "id", that is, they act under the control of their "id".
There are people who have settled inside us, constantly reminding us of our mistakes, getting angry at us when we do what we want, wagging their fingers, causing us to feel guilty, "What will others say?" ” The voice of our parents, who discourage us from our wishes, who constantly set unattainable goals and cannot be happy, who make us work harder, who always demand more from us, who criticize and punish us for even the slightest mistake, who force us to pay the price, who compare us with others, who have settled inside us, is the voice of society. Value judgments and religious fears are the "superego" side of our spiritual structure. The reason for the feeling of guilt that arises when we do something we want is our judgmental superego.
It is the "ego" that has the power to keep the wishes of the "id" on hold and also silences the cruel, judgmental side of the "superego" and does not allow it to torture itself. While trying to cope with the "ego", "id" and "superego" and to create oneself; It uses "defense mechanisms" from birth. While we use "primitive defenses" in the early years, as our spiritual structure and "ego" become stronger, we begin to use "mature defenses".
The strength of the "ego" is evaluated by looking at four components;
1) The defenses it uses are: 2) Frustration tolerance, 3) Impulse control, 4) Limits (“ego structuring” will be detailed in later articles).
Dozens of defense mechanisms used by the “ego” have been described.
Allan Schore, one of the founders of neurobiology. argues that there are three basic neurobiological defense mechanisms; DIVIDE ( “splitting”), REPRESSION (“repression”), BREAKING (“dissociation”).
DIVISION (“splitting”); It is a developmental neurobiological arrest. It describes the situation in which the integration of sympathetic and parasympathetic connections, the right brain and the left brain, that is, the experiential brain and the logical brain, cannot be achieved - the clinical equivalent of this situation is "personality disorders". In a dynamic sense, it can be defined as a developmental pause that remains in the preoedipal period (the preoedipal period, the oedipal period and the corresponding personality traits will be detailed in later articles).
Babies have the neurobiological ability to combine the sympathetic system and the parasympathetic system until the age of 2.5. Since they do not have it, they are under the influence of a developmental "split". With continued maturation, after the age of 2, 2.5, 3, the capacity to unify, which eliminates "division", develops; In this way, the transition to the triangular structure, that is, the tripartite relationship, or in other words, the oedipal period, is achieved. In this period, with the integration of the division, a higher defense begins to be used as a defense mechanism.
If the person is at the developmental neurobiological division stage. If "developmental arrest" occurs and no causality and division can be combined; The person remains under the influence of the "splitting" defense mechanism and continues his life with "splitting" throughout his life. The clinical equivalent of actively using the DIVISION defense in adulthood is "personality disorders". (Personality disorders will be detailed in subsequent articles).
The prominent feature of a person who actively uses the division defense is that he speaks with his actions. The person is under the influence of his right brain, that is, the experiential, emotional brain. With what we experience in this brain, the motor cortex is immediately activated and thought turns into action. For example, when a child is angry, he spits and kicks at his mother, but when the partition is not integrated, in adulthood, when he is angry at the people around him, he begins to kick, hit, and throw whatever he can get his hands on. If he cannot calm his anger with these, he starts using guns or other hurtful tools as a means of anger. He puts his sexual desires into action, such as rape. Whether it is aggressive or libidinal emotions, the person cannot control these emotions and cannot control them with his words. Instead of talking, he starts to speak with his actions. The fact that emotions are expressed through behaviors is an indication that the DIVISION defense is actively used.
The developmentally higher stage of dividing is the "Suppression" defense, which is more mature than "splitting". It emerges neurobiologically between the ages of 3 and 6, when the right brain and the left brain, that is, the experiential brain and the logical brain, connect with each other, and thus experiences are put into words and the inner world can be explained.
With this maturation, the child “ "Mom, I'm very angry with you", and when he matures further, he can say "I'm very angry with you". That is, he does not spit or kick or swing the knife; He speaks with his words, not his actions. Speaking with words means that the person who speaks with his actions in the right brain can express himself with words in the left brain. It is an important indicator that the ego also uses suppression, which is a mature defense. Unfortunately, while the price of speaking with behavior is sometimes death, it is not possible for even the harshest words to kill.
Countries are fighting by talking with their right brain. The day they can sit at the table, they will be able to talk with the left brain. They are currently under the influence of “split”. While people are developmentally able to use more mature defenses, they can regress psychologically under intense stress. They may lose their mature and healthy mindset. As a nation, people can also regress en masse. In regression, with the "suppression" mechanism, issues that can be solved by talking at the table turn into "splitting"; Those who are confronted while under the influence of "splitting" are perceived as completely evil and evil. Both parties feel this way towards each other and only reveal their feelings through their behavior. Unfortunately, behaviors are reflected in action in the form of bullets, bombs and weapons. One day, if common sense prevails and the "splitting" mechanism matures to the level of "suppression", a new connection will be established between the right brain and the left brain, neurobiologically the number of fibers between the sympathetic system and the parasympathetic system will increase, and the right brain and the left brain will be mutually aware of each other. By ensuring that the feelings in the right brain can be symbolized and the person can express them with words, He may be able to express his inner world with figures; emotions begin to be expressed again with words rather than actions; Hatred, anger and love are poured into words, discharged and the act of violence falls silent!
Mothers and fathers;
Give your children the greatest value with the feeling of endless and unconditional love "until they reach the age of 6"! p>
Always see and show their good sides!
Criticize without being destructive!
Teach without shaming!
Punish without hitting or hurting!
“He's just a kid! He doesn't understand anything!” what you said; Unfortunately, today, they are causing the greatest pain and harm to human beings because of what you cannot explain.
While we are trying to raise conscientious children, let's not raise unscrupulous children with our mistakes! If he behaves destructively towards his pet or toy, realize that something is wrong, that you are missing something, and please get help! Don't be ashamed of this!
Children who speak with their words; They will be adults who do not speak with their physical strength, bombs, weapons and behavior!
And remember! WORDS DO NOT KILL!
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