Thinking of a marriage that does not include arguments, dreaming of it and trying to achieve it is the biggest mistake made in marriage. A marriage without arguments does not include communication. Mutual communication and conflicts of ideas form the basis of marriage. Harmony between couples will occur through these disagreements and mutual agreements on them. However, what is important is that couples listen to each other's ideas and think about these ideas. Mutual positive acceptance is the essential condition for a good marriage. The biggest mistake made in these discussions is to use sentences that target our spouse's personality. Sentences starting with "You already..." are examples of this situation.
We always need to inform the other person about the emotions we feel as a result of their behavior towards us. Saying “What you did made me feel worthless”; “You always do this anyway, you don't think about me.” It is much more effective than saying. Criticism sentences always distract us from the main purpose. In the face of such sentences, the other person will focus on how to defend himself rather than understanding us, which will pave the way for a fight rather than a discussion.
Another issue is the approach to families. It is one of the most common problems we encounter. Our families are very precious and special. However, what should not be forgotten is; After you get married, you become a family of two. For this reason, the boundaries you set between you and your families within the framework of respect and love will enable you to establish much healthier relationships and avoid resentments. Women's and men's perspectives on this issue are quite different. While the daughter is always seen as a guest who will leave home one day; The expectation from the son is that he will always be the one to take care of the family and take care of the parents. The attitudes of two different genders of people who grew up with this information towards their families after marriage also differ. This is a psychological process and no one can be blamed for these approaches. This problem can be overcome with a little awareness.
Couples stay at home for a while after getting married. From their circle of friends to the individual time they allocate to themselves He stays away from people and his personal hobbies. Although this situation does not bother much at first, depression begins later on. Marriage is not about tying two people together with a handcuff. Individuals should definitely reserve special time for themselves. In this way, the time spent together will be much more meaningful.
Constantly making complaints about the same issues will not be of any use to you; It will only push your partner away from you. Instead of constantly complaining about your mother-in-law; Explaining how you feel about his hurtful behavior and thanking your spouse for listening to you will make you feel much more comfortable. Remember that no one can and should not give up on their family.
Jealousy is one of the most dangerous situations for marriage. Jealousy is paired with feelings of insecurity. A person who feels untrusted will not want to stay in the relationship. The relationship is built on the foundation of trust. If there is pathological jealousy in your marriage, you should definitely get psychological support.
Every problem experienced in the marriage should be seen and discussed. Support should be sought from a marriage therapist on issues that cannot be resolved mutually. Many problems experienced in marriages can be resolved with regular psychotherapy.
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