During adolescence, the relationship between parents and their adolescent children changes. When we look at the dimensions of this relationship, some important issues emerge. Monitoring consists of monitoring the adolescent's social environments, activities, and friend choices. However, adolescents acquire the ability to gain autonomy and control over their own behavior through appropriate adult responses. An individual in early adolescence is not knowledgeable enough to make appropriate and mature decisions in all areas of life. While the adolescent's effort for autonomy can leave the control in the areas where he/she can make appropriate decisions; should guide the adolescent to make appropriate decisions in areas where his/her knowledge is limited. Because adolescents can gradually acquire the ability to make mature decisions. Attachment factor is also seen as important in the relationship with their parents in adolescence. Research supports this. Research results reveal that adolescents who develop secure attachment have a better relationship with their parents, are better at closeness and self-expression in their relationships, and gain independence at the end of adolescence.
Balance of Freedom and Control Despite moving towards independence, adolescents feel the need to stay connected with their families. In a study, it was found that adolescents who spend time with their families and eat dinner together have low behaviors such as smoking, drinking alcohol, and getting involved in fights. It focuses on issues such as coming home at a certain time and not talking on the phone for too long. In other words, it is more related to the daily life of the family. These conflicts can actually serve positive development. These minor disagreements provide a transition from being dependent on the family to being an autonomous individual. It should not be forgotten that as adolescents mature, they separate themselves from their parents and move towards an autonomous world separate from their families. As adolescents share more personal secrets with their friends, such conversations with their parents decrease. Their peers and social environments are more important to them. In this process, the adolescent perceives every request of his family as if he is under pressure, while the parents perceive everything that the adolescent wants as a rebellion. This is where conflicts begin. It is easier for adolescents to adapt to rapid changes and developments, to accept themselves and gain an identity in healthy family environments consisting of individuals who feel happy and valuable, know their responsibilities and trust each other. In order for parents to establish good communication with their adolescent children, first of all, communication within their own relationships should be healthy. Then, it will be useful for them to know the characteristics of adolescence, to read about it, and to accept that some changes in their children are normal. Consistency is important.
Sometimes contradictory approaches such as “you are a child, we did not ask for your opinion” and sometimes “you are a big person, fulfill your responsibilities”.
They need to be patient and treat their children as individuals.
> Orientation towards peer groups will increase. If the parent acts excessively oppressive and inconsistent in this regard, this orientation will increase even more. Controlled freedom is important.
It is necessary to accept that there may be outbursts of anger and to listen carefully without panicking and responding to anger in such cases. you should try to understand that they are illogical and then ann e - It is important for fathers to be able to review the rules at home together by expressing their feelings.
In communication with adolescents, instead of mini-conferences, giving moral lessons, giving advice, labeling, trying to find a solution by interrupting or exaggerating emotional displays, it is necessary to listen and try to understand what they are feeling.
During adolescence, you have to accept that your child is different from before. As a parent, you should make changes in the way you communicate with him and your attitudes.
If you want him to listen to you, you should finally share your own feelings and thoughts after expressing your understanding of him.
How you express yourself is important. If we start the conversation by denouncing and blaming the adolescent's ideas about the subject, communication will be cut off from the beginning. Because he sees it as an attack on himself.
As a parent, you should spend at least twice the time you spend talking to the teenager listening to him/her. It encourages him to talk by making eye contact while speaking. It will help them to make sense of their own emotions, relax and calm down.
The way for adolescents to become individuals who know their responsibilities is to give them responsibilities and trust them.
First of all, parents need to be honest in order to be honest individuals.
You need to focus especially on the strengths and positive characteristics of adolescents.
Disorganization, irresponsibility, etc. constantly reminding them of their negative attitudes, such as, causes that behavior to become more established rather than eliminating it.
Adolescents have a say in decisions at home, b It should be kept in mind that he can bear some responsibilities, it is necessary to give him opportunities to prove his identity and try his autonomy. . This negatively affects the self-confidence of the individual.
While making a decision about the adolescent individual, first of all, parents should come to an agreement among themselves and show consistency in their decisions.
Parents seeking ways to spend time with their adolescent children, having fun and laughing together contribute positively to their relationships
Do not get into an argument, especially when your teenager is angry. Let him calm down and then talk about his behavior.
Being understood and cared for is very important to a teenager. When he cannot find these, he thinks that there is no point in continuing the communication and relationship any longer, and he withdraws. If you find your relationship and communication inadequate, review and change your relationship style so far.
Do not warn or advise in front of others. Try to talk about situations you don't like when you are alone and in trouble-free times.
Remember! If the communication between the adolescent and the parent is unilateral, that is, only going from adult to adolescent, the only way for the adolescent to reveal their personality will be to rebel against the authority.
Read: 0
