Many studies have been conducted both in the world and in our country on the effects of violence on children's mental health. It is possible to come across many interesting results as a result of the research conducted. The most important result of the research, which everyone agrees on, is that "yes, violence is definitely a negative form of behavior, especially violence against children is an unforgivable wrong behavior." Another important result from the research is that we are faced with the fact that people who encounter violence, especially children, experience serious depressions in their personality structures and emotional worlds. Now hold on tight; Although it is known that it causes all these negativities, unfortunately, it is very clear that violence against both children and women in our society is at a level that cannot be underestimated.
As it is known, violence is a wild form of behavior applied by the physically strong against the weak. . For this reason, those who are generally exposed to violence are children and women. It should not be overlooked that violence, wherever it occurs, for whatever reason, is an absolutely indefensible, brutal form of behavior and has no legitimacy whatsoever. Violence is a learned form of behavior. In other words, violence is a modeled behavior. A child who is beaten by his father or who sees his mother being beaten will be more likely to resort to violence in later life than a child who has not experienced this. We must not forget that the way we treat our children, our children will learn from us in terms of behavior.
A question immediately comes to mind: What can we do to prevent violence? Do education and culture play an effective role in preventing violence? Yes, absolutely yes, the most important factor in preventing violence is education and culture. The research whose results I mentioned above shows that violence against individuals who are weaker than themselves is a less common form of behavior in individuals who are dominated by education and culture. The reason for this is very simple: individuals dominated by education and culture are people who have developed different methods to solve problems. These people use communication more to solve their problems. These play important roles in preventing violence.
We have seen many times that children, whose parents try to discipline them by using violence, use violence against their own spouses and children when they grow up and get married. When the background of these children is examined, we can easily say that, as mentioned above, they are prone to violence and that they acquired this situation through modeling. If there is an environment of violence, this affects the whole society very seriously. Violence causes fear in society, distrust between people, isolation and alienation from social life. Adding to this the society's insensitivity and indifference to violent incidents, serious problems arise. Children and young people who watch violent images on television identify themselves with people who are made into heroes. One of the most important reasons for violence is disharmony within the family, the absence of one or both parents, alcohol and substance addiction of parents, quarrels, lack of respect for each other, and children growing up deprived of attention and love. Children, whose parents try to discipline them with violence in their childhood, resort to violence against their own spouses and children when they grow up and get married.
It should not be forgotten that another tool that fuels violence is computer games and the internet. Boys, more often than not, play games that are violent, full of wars, fights, sometimes strange creatures, with very vivid images of death, fighting, blood, wounding, and lots of weapons, by putting oneself in the place of the hero and as if one is killing, injuring, and destroying oneself in the game. He plays by experiencing, sometimes these games take long hours. Thus, a habit of violence, death, and blood develops, and they begin to perceive all of these as ordinary, normal things.
In order to feel safe and trust others, every child must be able to establish a strong, affectionate relationship with his parents. A child who cannot establish such a bond with an adult who shows him love and care is likely to develop feelings of hostility and become a "difficult" teenager. Among children who were cared for at a very young age, "problem There are fewer young people with "behaviours". Being able to show love to a child all the time is not an easy thing. If you are having different difficulties than everyone else in managing your child and having a very difficult time, then you can consult a Psychological Counselor. In this way, you can reach scientific evidence about raising children. You can get information about some methods based on this. It is very important to remember that children have their own minds. Your children's increasing need for independence and their behavior to satisfy this need may sometimes make you angry, hinder or disappoint. Before reacting to them, it is important to evaluate the situation from your child's perspective. The willingness you show will help you cope with your own emotions and be more patient. Do your best to avoid reacting to your children with angry and hostile words and behavior.
Children generally learn by imitation. The values, attitudes and behaviors of their families have a great impact on them. Values such as respect, honesty, and pride in our family and relatives can be an important source of strength and confidence for our children. These values are especially important when your child is under negative peer pressure, lives in an environment where violence is prevalent, or attends the same schools as students with behavioral disorders. Many children sometimes become aggressive and hit another person. Be specific when talking to your children about the possible dangers of this type of violent behavior. If he has solved his problems in more constructive ways, without resorting to violence, immediately express your appreciation for this and reward him. By paying more attention to and appreciating their good behavior, children can be encouraged to repeat and continue these behaviors.
Behaviors such as pushing, scolding, slapping, hitting or beating your children to punish them, by pushing and scolding them about their problems. , it would be appropriate to solve it by hitting and multiplying; It gives the message that they can also give similar punishments when they need to give them. Physical punishments reduce undesirable behavior However, they can stop it for a certain period of time. It is known that children can even adapt to very harsh punishments, so the punishment has no effect. However, non-physical discipline methods help children cope with their emotions more easily; It teaches them ways to solve their problems with non-violent methods.
Violence at home is frightening and harmful for children. Children need a safe home where they can live without fear and with love. Although it cannot be said that children who witness violence at home will necessarily show violence in the future, it can be said that they will be "prone" to solve the problems they encounter by resorting to violence. Do your best to make your home a safe place free of violence, and definitely discourage violent behavior between siblings. Remember that hostility and aggression-filled fights between mothers and fathers will also scare children and set bad examples for them. Sometimes you may not be able to prevent your children from being exposed to violence on the streets, at school or at home. When these situations occur, you may need to help them cope with the feelings of fear they experience.
It is also known that watching too much violence on television, in the cinema or in computer games causes aggressive behavior in children. As a parent, you can control the amount of violence your child watches.
Support and reward your children in every environment where they exhibit non-violent behavior. Teach your child how to react with calm but firm words when one of their friends hits, curses, or threatens the other. Explain that standing up and resisting violence requires more courage. Help your children get along with and accept people from different regions and different family structures. Teach them that criticizing and labeling people just because they are different is painful and hurtful, and make them understand that such behavior is absolutely not allowed. Avoid using words that initiate or encourage violence, or silently watch violent behavior. Explain that this is wrong and harmful. Warn them that threats and pushing are behaviors that incite violence.
Bating is often applied to the child as a result of the adult's anger. Any behavior by the child angers the adult and beating occurs. Some parents think that spanking is necessary in educating children. Because that's what they saw from their own mothers and fathers. They do not feel any discomfort for beating their children. Some parents, after a while after beating, regret what they did and hug, kiss, and even apologize to the child. The child feels anger because he is hurt or hurt, but he cannot express it; because it is his parents or another adult he is dependent on in some way who did this to him. He cannot reconcile the love he feels for them with the damage they have caused to his soul. As a result, he directs the anger towards himself. This anger that the child feels towards himself spreads to all areas of his life. The negative emotions he feels make it difficult to adapt to life. He begins to have problems at school and in his relationships with friends. Beating used as a training tool can be effective for a short time. The child does not behave undesirably in a short time after being beaten. However, after a while, the child engages in the same behavior again because the needs that lead him to do that behavior are not met. Beating has no educational effect on the child in the long run. Doesn't it gain anything? He makes people win, and he incorporates beating into his life as a method. Unfortunately, he later tries to use this wild behavior he has learned on other people.
A child cannot be disciplined by beating. Discipline is a long-acting form of education and changing attitudes and behavior. However, it is important for the beaten child to relieve his mother's anger; he may repeat the same behavior again later. It is seen that many children who are called 'beating shameless' care about the outcome of the beating, not why they are beaten.
Spanking has no benefit in child education. Many scientific studies reveal this. The negative effects of beating experienced in childhood appear at every stage of life. Beating incidents, which frequently occur during marriage, also occur in childhood.
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