Human beings are social beings who cannot live alone and have to come together and communicate. As humans, we have to produce various information and share this information in order to continue our existence. We communicate with many living creatures in daily life, at home, at school, at work, on the street we walk and on the bus we travel on. However, sometimes we may feel that we are not understood even though we convey the message we want to give. In such cases, we need to use some communication techniques to prevent problems arising from lack of communication and to ensure that relationships are built on solid foundations. The Sandwich Method is one of these techniques.
Let's think about the sandwich, which is the savior of the days when we do not have time to have breakfast. There are various ingredients between two layers of bread. When we eat these ingredients alone, we experience their intense taste. However, when we bite into it after making it into a sandwich, the taste of the bread and ingredients mix together. In this way, we do not enjoy the taste of the ingredients more intensely than the others.
When making sandwiches, we fill the inside of two layers of bread with whatever we want. And we put the main ingredient, the main message we want to give to the other party, between the bread and soften the taste a little. This technique is especially used in situations that require us to criticize. We can convey the negative messages that we have to say to the other person, but which will most likely disturb that person, more effectively with the sandwich method.
Remember the times when you said 'You don't understand me' or 'You misunderstood me again' in the moments when you communicated in daily life. The first step in communication problems is to take responsibility for communication. We should evaluate how we can explain the situation differently and find alternative ways, thinking that we have misunderstood, not that we have misunderstood. We can give the same message by arranging it in a way that creates a change in the other person's perception.
With the Sandwich Technique, the conditional negative acceptance message is given by sandwiching it between two positive acceptance messages. Just like sandwich bread and the ingredients in between. The aim here is to make a negative statement about the other person's behavior, not their personality. To indicate that it is UK. Our basic need in relationships is to be accepted. When we express a criticism directly to the other person, he/she will think that his/her personality is not accepted as it is and complex processes will come into play along with the defense mechanism. In such cases, the message we give with the initial intention of changing behavior deviates from its purpose and causes communication problems.
In this method, we should start the conversation with a positive aspect of the other person before the negative message. This positive aspect may be related to his personality, his behavior that we appreciate, or even the clothes he chose that day. This message of positive acceptance can be thought of as the top of the sandwich bread. From here on, we can say the negative message we really want to say. However, what we need to pay attention to in this part is the conjunctions we use in the transition to the negative message. Conjunctions such as 'But', 'But', 'However', 'However', reduce the value of what was said before them and even deny the previous sentence. What we said at first loses its meaning, selective attention increases and the person begins to listen to other things you say, with the certainty that he will be criticized. And most likely he will go into a defensive position. For this reason, it would be more accurate to switch by using the conjunction 'And' instead of 'But' and its derivative conjunctions. The conjunction 'and' adds the meaning of togetherness to the sentence. It means, 'I do not deny what I said before, I accept you as you are and I have other things to say along with these.' Using 'And' instead of 'But' will direct the person's attention to think and evaluate this negative aspect, rather than to form a defense about the aspect he is criticized for. When we convey our negative criticism with the conjunction 'and', we complete the second layer of the sandwich, which consists of ingredients. After this criticism, we finish our message by creating the last layer with a positive acceptance message, as in the first layer.
We can give a few examples of the use of this technique in daily life. For example, a mathematics teacher who is disturbed by his student's constant speaking without raising his hand in the classroom can use this technique to criticize:
'I really like your interest in my lesson. How much you love math and how you like to solve problems I can see how eager you are. You have many friends in the class who are willing like you. And the fact that you're talking without raising your hand makes it difficult for me to manage the class. I want you to solve the questions by paying attention to this. I trust you and I believe you can implement this.'
Don't you think it seems more effective than saying, 'You will never speak without raising your hand again?'
The sandwich method also makes it easier for us in situations where we need to say no. For example, we can say no to a friend who insistently invites us to an event we do not want to attend:
'Thank you for your invitation. I really enjoy spending time with you too. I have an important file to prepare this weekend. And if I come, I will be in a difficult situation. I hope we can see you next week. '
In short, the 'Sandwich Method' is a method that gives effective results when preferred in human communication and enables us to build stronger relationships. It is a source of control so that we do not find ourselves hurling merciless criticism while we think we are communicating. It is a communication technique that proves that when the same message is given in different ways, it changes perception and leads to more effective results.
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