The most obvious characteristics of perfectionism are maximizing the standard line, not allowing incompleteness and making mistakes, and bombarding criticism. Gordon H. Flett and Paul L. Hewitt (2002) have defined three types of perfectionism: While it can be applied both to oneself and to others, there is also a version we call social expectations. While he turns into a person who cannot admit his mistakes and imposes unreachable expectations when he turns to himself, when he turns to someone else, you come across someone who has difficulty in giving work to others because he does not generally like what he does, and constantly finds fault in those who are outside of him. His anxiety, combined with his belief that they would do just as well, did not believe in the impossibility of admitting even the slightest mistake. Social expectations can also be defined as the belief that someone else has unachievable expectations from them.
Snoozing the alarm in the morning, postponing the phone call, postponing the cake you will make with your child, postponing the trip you have planned for the winter holiday will not put you in a lot of trouble. From time to time, some procrastination behaviors are necessary considering the order of priority. The downside mentioned here. For example, ending the day by being caught in the whirlwind of finding yourself doing something else.
Perfectionism may seem strange to the bottom with the behavior of procrastination. Perfectionists want to do a flawless job that others can't even beat. While the calculations are mind-blowing and their performance is legendary, they can only say that they did this job. While the task is suitable for them, they can adapt to it to a certain extent, but what happens when they ask themselves the impossible? These people, who refrain from doing a sallapati job, do not mind leaving it unfinished since it should be magnificent when they are finished. In other words, it is much more bearable for them to be incomplete.
They feel the need for constant correction, and excessive planning, arranging and sequencing are common behaviors. They want to get approval. Decision making is not easy, they have a lot of difficulty. They avoid and delay. They set such goals that they defeat themselves profusely. Failure is unbearable for them. it is abusive. The way to avoid this nightmare is to delay. With the behavior of procrastination, they also drive away all this sense of possible failure.
Perfectionists think that this way they will meet their need to be accepted and loved. “If I am perfect, I will be loved.” As this expression gets stronger inside, they begin to demand even more from themselves. It takes intense pressure. We also define the times when they escape from the clamp as procrastination.
The priority for coping is to be realistic. The illusion of perfection cunningly conceals the truth. Because the need to be loved and valued becomes severe and distorted by the influence of past traumas, it may not be desirable to realize the truth. Accepting that a perfect result is not equivalent to a disaster is facilitated by a therapeutic process. Being objective against the criticisms made against mistakes and considering that mistakes are in the unique nature of learning also have a share in overcoming them.
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