We flow by in the hustle and bustle of daily life. We often deny being alone with ourselves, which is what we need most. Once we are alone, the reasons from the past, what they are for, and concerns about the future come to our minds. That's why we ignore what we know and what we don't know.
We accumulate many memories throughout our lives. Some of them we like the more we remember, some of them remain as fresh as the first day. However, there are some memories that shake us deeply even when we remember them, hurt us, maintain their presence in our minds even if we do not want it, and emerge when a suitable opportunity finds it. So what happens that we keep these experiences that disturb us in our minds and do not forget them?
Many psychotherapy approaches have offered various explanations for this situation. Gestalt therapy approach is one of them. According to the Gestalt approach, meeting needs forms the basis of life. If the needs are not met appropriately, the Gestalt cycle does not close, it remains open. Even though the individual is directed to meet another need, the need waiting to be met remains in the memory and tries to attract the organism's attention. When the individual begins to lose awareness of his unmet needs, the process of 'incompletion' comes into play and unfinished work occurs. For example; During a person's childhood, a need from that period may not have been met as desired, psychologically or biologically. A child who was not allowed to express his sadness in childhood may ignore this need and not even realize it. Over time, this situation, which turns into an unfinished task with the loss of awareness of the unmet need, may even cause the person to experience interpersonal bonding problems or problems in emotional relationships in later years.
The individual cannot meet his needs in his daily life as desired due to his unmet needs. When these unmet needs increase and the individual's ability to tolerate them decreases, some mental disorders begin to emerge. No matter how old the unfinished needs are, they remain in the fund to be completed and are waiting to be activated. This is why it is remembered We keep remembering the memories we don't want to remember.
During the therapy process, a new journey begins to unfinished business. In therapy, the completion process is carried out in the most appropriate way by bringing alternative perspectives to these experiences that are re-experienced here and now.
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