These days, there is a "syndrome specific to all ages" factor that parents often focus on and triggers their somewhat anxious wait. However, when they were dreaming of those days when they would hold their babies, whom they were eagerly awaiting to be born, everything seemed so manageable... Wasn't all they wanted was for their babies to be born healthy?
So what happened next? Information confusion.
Resources have increased, accessibility has increased, many methods have been offered and we have forgotten to listen to our inner voice and what we need while wondering which one is useful and which one is useless. We were made to forget.
“2 year old syndrome”, problem of saying “no”, anger problems, sleeping and eating problems, introversion, I wonder if my baby was securely attached? Does this create trauma? … Everything suddenly became a problem, and for some reason, instead of focusing on the frequency and cause of certain behavioral patterns, we became fixated on their existence. We were influenced by all these labels and ignored human efforts to exist. In play groups, with my clients and friends around me, I often feel the worried eyes of parents on me, especially if their children do not choose to "adapt" to the environment by revealing a piece of their own individuality... (Also, what exactly adaptation means should be examined under another heading. I think.)
The most important thing that parents should remember is that developmental periods follow age ranges rather than age. The fact that each child has a different temperament is also an important issue to remember. For this reason, developmental stages should be considered as a whole, not under an age label. In this process, it is important to approach supporting physical, mental and spiritual development in a holistic manner. Because no phase is independent from each other. We must not forget that each phase is a stepping stone to the next. For example, being able to say "no" and being supported in the phase after your child says his first word is related to his ability to set limits in the next phase. Or, at the stage when he begins to become aware of his self, he hits or cries as an expression of an emotional strain he is experiencing. Although it is a boundary test, as long as it is accepted by you and the emotion is mirrored, it will improve his vocabulary, strengthen him expressively, and pave the way for him to become aware of the emotion he feels. He does not share his toys... So, does he have to share? Who has more difficulty in this relationship, especially the adults who insist on the child to share at the point where he says "everything is mine" or the child?
In this relationship, There is a dual path; from parent to child and from child to parent. In fact, this bilateral relationship plays a critical role in the child's development. Remember, as your child gets older, you will learn different personal characteristics. Instead of changing these characteristics, that is, his individuality, you should support him by establishing healthy communication channels and remember that you should intervene in behavior, not emotions. You can only direct the behavior in a more positive way, but directing your child's feelings and emotions may cause the communication channels you have opened to be blocked.
I also think we need to change our perspective a little more. For example, before your child turns two, you might think, "2-year-old syndrome is coming, what will we do?" Thinking like this may be causing you to become conditioned and anxious. Beginning to examine each behavior under this "I wonder" lens may cause certain behaviors specific to the developmental stage to be perceived as "out of the norm." Knowing the developmental stages is very valuable in this respect. It is necessary to know which behavior is a part of development and which behavior may be a sign of difficulties. For this reason, we will both research and recognize and support our child's individual characteristics rather than comparing them. Let's not forget that not the existence of an emotion, but the frequency, course and expression of that emotion's reflection on behavior can signal us about emotional difficulties.
And let's not forget that every emotion felt is normal and Every individual is unique...
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