This article should be addressed to all married couples, all working and unemployed women, men and women on the eve of getting married, or all young people who are wondering who they are and who they are about getting married... Let them have their parents read it and let those who read it share it with their neighbors and share it so that what actually exists within us and within us is ours. Let our life energy, which we are not aware of, be revealed more quickly.
Have you ever felt angry that your spouse didn't listen to you when he came home, or that he sat in front of the TV with a newspaper instead of sharing when you asked him how his day was?
What about you, gentlemen? Have you ever worked hard all day to make ends meet, but when you returned to your cozy home, you were surprised and then angry because your spouse was sullen and thought you didn't understand him?
Or did your spouse see himself as a household item and a babysitter? Are you worried about what you describe? Does he secretly admire your active life, or does he think that you do not support him if he is working, or do you have fewer things to talk about?
The way men and women communicate is quite different. Thousands of articles have been written and hypotheses have been produced on this subject for centuries. However, research shows that while men use the left hemisphere, which has a strong analytical side, women use the right hemisphere, which has a strong emotional side. Therefore, while a man perceives the message he gives or is given as it is seen, a woman can look at the underlying meaning and expect the same from the other person. When she says 'Where have you been?', the woman may want to say 'I missed you.'. The man, on the other hand, may expect peace when he comes home because he is tired after sweating outside all day, and may describe the children's jokes and his wife's expectations as noise.
In short, although it is not the fault of a single party in this matter, the biggest mistake that couples make is perhaps expecting their spouses to make them feel happy and good. However, in order for the relationship to last, couples need to see the relationship as a place where they can give something, not as a place where they can receive something. Therefore, both parties think that their spouse will change later anyway. I think the healthiest solution would be to start changing themselves instead of waiting and waiting. Thus, they make a great start in increasing communicative efficiency.
We went very formal, let's get back to us. So far, we have seen that the biggest step is that both sides need to take action. Apart from this, perhaps even more important, we should not ask for something from others that we do not have ourselves. This applies to everything. Blaming the other person should not be the first choice in discussions. For example, we all do brain reading, whether we want it or not. But believe me, we do not have such a power because we are not superman. The best proof of this is to play a game with your spouse. Look into each other's eyes for 2 minutes without speaking and try to guess what is going through your mutual mind. I'm sure you'll guess wrong most of the time. Therefore, instead of blaming and trying to reach an agreement by talking instead of saying "You definitely meant this" will reduce the tension that will occur.
In addition to these, we must first love ourselves and find ourselves valuable, and trust ourselves. If we accept both our spouse and ourselves with the positive growth within us without any conditions, our perceptions will also begin to change. I think the biggest help in this is to have a hobby. Because leisure activities are one of the many factors that affect our life satisfaction. As Ebru artist Mustafa Hakkı Ertan said, productivity is good, it increases self-confidence, so you feel better. Whether it is painting, photography, calligraphy, marbling, a musical instrument, poetry or an endeavor that you will be the first to discover in the world, opening up to a different world will expand your horizons and positively affect your relationship. You will start to feel valuable outside of your job, your children, and your home; In addition to the role of father, mother, wife, you will enrich your conversations with the role of a hobbyist or even a painter, for example. Even more enjoyable, if you choose the same profession, you will go on weekend trips together or take a course together.
Do you think these are dreams?
It's not over yet. Believe me, if you smile at your reflection in the mirror when you wake up in the morning, while getting ready, shaving or applying make-up, believe me, your day will start more positively. positive start Don't forget that ending the day positively is still in your hands. If we expect compliments, we should give compliments first. If we want to be understood, we must first try to understand. In addition, the peace we create in the family will also be reflected in society. We need to learn to be happy naturally.
Considering the circumstances, this seems a bit difficult, what do you think?
This article may not end, but there is always hope.
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