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The origins of this schema are highly related to parental attitudes. This schema may be formed if the parent constantly or frequently criticizes the child, shows a distrust-breaking attitude such as "you can't do that", "it's not something you can do", or does not allow him/her to try and does not offer opportunities. It is very possible that teacher attitudes in the same way create this scheme. “Are you stupid!” “Are you stupid!” Approaches such as “incompetent” pave the way for the formation of this schema. Likewise, friend attitudes can also confirm this schema. Attitudes such as "He can't run well anyway" or "He never studies anyway, he can't paint well anyway" can also lead to the formation of the failure schema.
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In addition, the comparisons made by parents and teachers cause the child to compare himself with others and describe himself as successful, unsuccessful, good or bad according to others rather than how he is within himself. In this case, whether he succeeds or fails is not under his control, but unfortunately in the hands of others. He determines where and how he is in relation to others. Since this is a fundamental mistake we have made in our education and training system, it is very difficult to correct it. If we fix it, the system works this way.
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One of the mistakes made is unfair comparisons. With an older sister or older brother, or with someone older than himself/herself. In this case, since it would be difficult to compete with the older sister or brother in that field, one may have given up trying and accepted failure.
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Your parents are very Being successful or having high standards, their perfectionist nature may cause the child to think that he will never be as successful as them or meet their high standards and may cause him to give up. Especially in today's education system, the anxiety and anxieties of children who are almost raced by their families for success and who have turned into racehorses are truly thought-provoking. While we want to raise successful individuals, we may be raising individuals with psychological problems.
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Ann The fact that the e-father does not care that you are successful and does not appreciate you sufficiently may also cause the formation of such a schema. The parents may be in competition with the child or still maintain their perfectionist attitude. Belittling the child's success, such as "Is that something, I did this and that during your time?", may cause the child to feel threatened about the times he was successful.
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At school Having a learning disability in sports or other fields, various speech problems such as stuttering, articulation problem, phonological disorder, attention deficit, coordination problem or a problem with motor skills may have caused one to give up in order not to be humiliated, and the failure schema may have been accepted.
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Apart from these, coming from a different country, a different region, financial situation or various impossibilities may be perceived as strange by others or as something that makes the person feel uncomfortable. In this situation, the person may see himself as lower than others. For this reason, a failure schema may occur.
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The fact that our parents did not set the necessary limits for us when we were children causes us not to learn self-control and responsibility, and not to acquire the skills such as discipline, order and work habits necessary to be successful. it could be. This situation creates the experience of failure and we can accept this experience.
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People with a failure schema choose people who will make them feel unsuccessful in their relationships. They may be. The people they are in a relationship with may frequently criticize them, say or act in ways that make them feel bad, or have oppressive attitudes. Oddly enough, people with a failure schema allow these attitudes and cannot set limits in their relationships with these people. Otherwise, people with a failure schema may also choose to be with people who praise them excessively and constantly talk about themselves. They need someone to tell them that they are successful in order to get rid of the feeling of failure inside them. So life It may actually be a result of our failure schema that we hire people who will somehow make us feel unsuccessful, or that we try to get rid of the feeling of failure by hiring people who praise us excessively, or who we think are more unsuccessful compared to ourselves, with whom we will feel successful. In such cases, in order for a person to feel truly successful, to develop self-confidence and skills, and to achieve self-control, he/she must first get to the roots of the failure schema and get rid of it.
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