It is a sentence that exists in the memories of those who are candidates for fathers or those who already have the responsibility of fatherhood: "You will understand me when you become a father!", what his own father said. sentence. Indeed, when we become fathers, we understand that being a "father" is a different status.
We were experiencing conflicts with our father in our adolescence. The father was the "authority figure" and we were always in a mood to rebel against this rule-making figure. There was an unspeakable distance between us, even if we were facing the most loving, fatherly and caring father in the world. We entered into a secret competition with our father during the transition period (adolescence) required for our identity to be established and for us to be able to say "I am".
While the situation in the father-son relationship is like this (when there are conflicts), there is someone who is our alternative and whom we see as a haven for ourselves. There was: our grandfather. On one hand, the boring, disciplined, accountable father-son relationship, and on the other hand, the uninvolved, giving, and sometimes spoiling grandfather-grandson relationship. Whenever there was a crisis in our relationship with our father, the person we ran to was our grandfather. The most important difference between these two relationships was the responsibilities taken. While our father had to prepare us for the future and real life, give us the necessary education and most importantly be a role model for us, our grandfather did not have such responsibilities, the relationship remained on an emotional level, logic was not sought.
These are seen as alternatives to each other. Relationships: On the one hand, the relationship in which responsibility is taken (father-son relationship), on the other hand, the relationship in which responsibility is not taken (grandfather-grandson relationship), we encounter in other periods of our lives. A man who is like an angel on the outside (like a grandfather or a grandchild) can be a cruel head of the household (like a father or a son) towards the people of the household (this issue will be discussed in detail later). Similarly, a man who is distant and accountable to his wife at home can be very giving and flexible towards the woman in his extramarital relationship.
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