Vaginismus is an involuntary contraction or a reflex contraction of the pelvic floor muscles, which we call "love muscles", when an object is inserted into the vagina (tampon, finger, penis, speculum). Contraction of the love muscles causes discomfort, burning, and aching. Vaginismus can be primary (i.e. lifelong) or secondary (occurring after normal sexual function). It can also be general (can occur in all situations and with any object) or situational (in some situations with a partner or partners, or vice versa, when inserting a tampon or speculum, not during sexual intercourse). They think that their vaginas are "too small" and that they should be closed, and they push their partners away, feeling pain and ache with every sexual intercourse experience. However, what they experience is just a negative state of hypnosis, a dream! The real thing is that they learn to control the love muscles around the vagina.
How can I understand that the pain I experience during sexual intercourse is vaginismus?
After the couple with vaginismus problem asks the sexual therapist a few questions, the therapist tells them through these questions. will give the most correct answer. Vaginismus pain usually occurs with attempted sexual intercourse (penetration). This condition usually starts when the partner tries to insert his penis into the vagina, but not always. The pain usually creates a burning or tearing sensation. Women describe this pain as "It's like my partner is hitting a wall!", "It's like my partner's penis is too big for me!" or “I feel like I'm falling apart!” They describe it as. This pain may or may not develop as sexual intercourse progresses, that is, when it is not unbearable pain.
Women with vaginismus often feel uncomfortable when using tampons or having a gynecological examination, but not always.
Is the pain in my head?
Vaginismus is a learned reflex. So when a woman with vaginismus has a painful sexual experience or a painful attempt to insert another object into the vagina, her love muscles learn to contract against the touch or penetration.
Later, when anyone or she tries to insert something into the vagina, the vagina and the love muscle With a reflex that develops against the woman's will, she "closes" herself, that is, contracts, in order to protect herself from pain. The contraction of the love muscles causes a noticeable level of pain.
How common is vaginismus?
Vaginismus is a very common sexual dysfunction. Vaginismus women cannot say anything to anyone because they are ashamed of this issue. Doing so is a pretty bad choice, because vaginismus is ultimately pretty easy to treat, whether it's noticed in a few months or a few years. Vaginismus can happen to many women at a certain period of their lives. Vaginismus may manifest itself with mild discomfort such as pain during sexual intercourse and the partner's inability to enter the vagina immediately due to contraction of the love muscles. There are many couples who have been together for years and have never had sexual intercourse due to vaginismus. These couples have a child through "pregnancy by ejaculation" (the partner's sperm is released into the vaginal tract and the egg is fertilized). Many women with vaginismus have a very active sex life; There is no sexual intercourse that involves only penis-vagina union. Sometimes couples are content with what they have without trying to change things and are happy with it.
How do I play love games?
It is necessary to start by doing Kegel exercises. Kegel exercises aim to exercise the love muscles and control the will over these muscles, called love muscles, by contracting and relaxing them. Kegel exercises are beneficial in many ways. It provides the woman with control over the vaginal muscles, increases the intensity of orgasm, and tightens the vagina. It is necessary to do Kegel exercises regularly. Now let's see how both Kegel exercises and finger exercises are done:
“To find out which muscle groups you need to exercise, first stop urinating while urinating and pay attention to which muscles you use. Meanwhile, make sure your abdominal and hip muscles are relaxed. Imagine having a pencil inside your vagina and not wanting to drop it, and the muscles contracting at this time are your love muscles. Or point inside your vagina Place your and middle fingers and try to pinch your fingers. The muscles working during this are your love muscles. During each unit exercise, contract your love muscles for 5–10 seconds and take a break for that amount of time. Practice this 5–10 times in a row. Doing this unit exercise 5–10 times a day will allow you to get maximum benefit from the exercises. During the exercises, you should make sure that you breathe normally and that only your love muscles are working. You can do these exercises, which we call Kegel exercises, at home, at work, on the road, in short, anywhere. It will never be obvious from the outside that you are doing these exercises. Make it a habit to practice these exercises regularly every day. In this way, you can gain voluntary control over your love muscles…”
After a while, these exercises should be performed by first starting with one finger, then increasing to three fingers, and inserting the fingers into the vagina. In the meantime, nails should be trimmed and baby oil should be used as lubricant. Why fingers? In the case of pity, the easiest thing for a woman to move is her fingers. Women sometimes wonder if their partners can use their fingers, but since using their partners' fingers is not completely under women's control, it should be waited for a while. Women must do it themselves first. In this way, the woman does not associate her husband with pain. Many women enjoy doing these exercises in a bathtub with water that provides natural flexibility, or by masturbating during the exercises.
How long do I have to exercise before I can have sexual intercourse?
Taking two fingers into the vagina is not a problem. It can last for days or weeks, depending on the duration and whether the exercises are done on time. If the woman can insert two fingers into her vagina or take two fingers from her partner for a few minutes without pain, it means it is time to have sexual intercourse. For the first few minutes, a sexual intercourse position with the woman on top should be tried, so she will be in control. The woman inserts her partner's penis into her vagina as if it were a bowel movement. k and can try pushing it out. This is also pushing out and contracting the muscles. If it hurts, the woman should stop, tense her love muscles and then relax them. It's not a bad idea to keep the penis inside the vagina without moving it for a few minutes. Once he has done this successfully, the woman can move it once or twice so that she is in control. Before doing this, the woman should talk to her partner. If there is no pain, the next time the couple can do whatever they want.
What are my chances of getting rid of vaginismus when I play love games?
100% success when very simple love games are played successfully and the history of sexual trauma is avoided. is expected. Frankly, if there are any discomfort such as nightmares, visualization of old traumatic images, sexual assault and abuse, these should be addressed by the sexual therapist. If there is an abnormality in the hymen or vagina, infection of the vulvar glands, or problems caused by inflammation, the exercises will not work. In this case, organic problems must first be treated by a gynecologist.
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