What should parents do? Is it possible to love our child and at the same time do our own things? Our answer is of course Yes! If a child's love tank is empty and all he needs is attention, he will do whatever he can until he gets that attention. Almost every child wants to attract his parents' attention to himself. There is no naughty child, there is only one trying to say "see me, hear me". He's just trying to get his parents' attention. Because even negative attention is better for the child than no attention at all. Everyone talks about quality time, they make suggestions, but what is this quality time?
Quality time means focusing attention. It means giving undivided attention to a child. Most babies spend a lot of quality time; While feeding or changing diapers, the parent completely concentrates on his child, which is enough to make that moment quality time. Because the parent belongs entirely to him in that process. As the child grows, it becomes increasingly difficult to spare quality time because it requires serious sacrifice. Especially working parents may come home from work tired and want to rest instead of playing, but your children are worth this sacrifice and believe me, their happiness will give you energy. Quality time is the gift of “being” from parents to their children. She carries the following message; "You are important. “I enjoy being with you.” It makes the child feel that he is the most important person in the eyes of his parents. He feels truly loved because his parents belong entirely to him.
The most important element of quality time is not the event itself, but the fact that you are doing something together, being together. So you can actually turn everything into an opportunity to spend quality time. You can prepare a meal with your child, chat and tidy up the mess together, do home shopping together, and turn many other things into quality time opportunities with your child. This way, you can get your work done and spend quality time with your child. Quality time doesn't mean going somewhere special. You can provide focused attention almost anywhere.
Quality time should also include affectionate eye contact. Looking into your child's eyes with love, Positive eye contact is an important tool to transfer love from our own heart to their heart. Parents generally use eye contact when they are going to give serious instructions or get angry at their children, but it is also important to use it to show affection. Your eye contact should be sweet and affectionate. However, if you make this type of gaze only when your child pleases you, you will be showing conditional love. The love given and received depending on the situation is not perceived as real love in the pure loving world of children, and the child who is exposed to conditional love will become angry because he does not feel truly loved. This can also harm their personal development; someone who does not receive unconditional love cannot learn to show it. That's why you need to constantly give your love, regardless of your child's behavior or circumstances.
Quality time is not just about doing things together. It will also help you get to know your child better because you will have more opportunities to have quality conversations. When parents talk about their past experiences, feelings and thoughts, it makes children feel important and valuable. Therefore, sharing feelings and thoughts will further strengthen the bond between them. The best time to chat with young children is during work hours when their attention is more concentrated. This may be because they have fewer distractions or because they want to delay sleep. Whatever the reason, they listen to you wholeheartedly, which makes meaningful conversations easier. A child needs to chat a lot with his parents at every age. because they are always the greatest source of information.
Plan your time well, take advantage of every opportunity, dinners eaten together are a period of time that can be turned into the best quality time ritual. Don't return home without energy, discover something that will clear your mind and discharge you, and come home with energy to give to your child. You can listen to music that will relax you, take a short walk outdoors, or do whatever feels good to you, and please leave the energy to spare for your child, he needs you the most, your attention, your love is the most important factor for his development.
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