Happy marriage is not an order in which our needs are met, we are not dependent on anyone, and responsibilities for work and home are fulfilled. These are just the conditions necessary for living together. In this way, we can call it a solid roommate, not a happy marriage. A happy marriage is a system in which people feel safe and peaceful.
Marriage begins with happiness and walking on a path where dreams are built. Spouses accompany each other on this path and support each other in overcoming all the obstacles they will encounter to achieve their dreams. There is no problem so far, everything is fine, but sometimes some couples want the other party to make more sacrifices and constantly take them down.
How good is sacrifice for a happy marriage? Let's ask ourselves the question: If one of the spouses constantly makes sacrifices and takes them from the bottom, over time the other spouse loses his adult character and feels like he is protected because he has a spouse who accepts him with everything he has. Over time, this relationship ceases to be a husband-wife relationship and turns into more of a mother-child relationship. In a family that is experiencing economic difficulties, if the spouse constantly makes sacrifices, cuts down on all his needs, does not want anything of his own, does not express his spouse's shortcomings in order not to put him in a difficult situation or does not express his spouse's shortcomings so that he does not get upset, and acts self-sacrificing all the time, he is harming his marriage rather than benefiting it. In a relationship that continues in this way, the man will not make any effort to make his wife happy over time, because he has a wife who protects and embraces him like a mother who accepts him under any circumstances. Having a wife who accepts and does not complain, no matter what kind of family environment he offers, will never motivate that man. As for the man, he will see that his feelings of masculinity are lost and he will start to be attracted to people who make him feel like a man. Because in marriage, the feeling of childhood is felt, not masculinity. Or the opposite situation occurs. After a while, the person who constantly sacrifices gets tired of this lifestyle and begins to be attracted to people who value him and make him feel valuable. What should we do for this? Will we not be self-sacrificing? No, of course, adjust the dose carefully. we should. It is essential to be self-sacrificing in happy marriages, but if we expect something in return for our sacrifices, or if we sacrifice more than we can do to compromise ourselves, we will later regret it.
If we ask what kind of sacrifices should be; We should not pursue all kinds of mistakes, or fail to warn our spouse when he makes the same mistakes and misbehaves one after the other, thinking that he will be offended if I tell him not to get upset. We must make our spouse aware of his mistake in a nice way without blaming him. Yes, we must make sacrifices, but we can show our sacrifice by supporting our spouse by showing that we trust him by inhibiting these feelings, instead of arguing with him and imposing restrictions on what kind of jealousy we feel towards him. Sometimes, if we have a working spouse, instead of expecting her to be a perfect mother or housewife at home, understanding that our spouse works until the evening and gets tired, just like us, and lightening her burden by sharing her responsibilities at home is one of the beneficial sacrifices we make for our marriage. Such sacrifices will add to our happiness. We must be careful not to overdo it in our sacrifices, which will enable us to preserve our own values. Let's not forget that more of everything is harmful, less is a decision.
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