While the new year was greeted with enthusiasm all over the country, the excitement of a completely different development was happening in our house. I was able to make Onur stop breastfeeding in the twentieth month. I had made an unsuccessful attempt at this before, but this time I was determined and we succeeded.
For twenty months, I had a social life that ended at eight in the evening, and after Onur gave up breastfeeding, I went out with a friend for the first time. When I shared an ironic post on social media saying "If you have a baby shower, we also have a breastfeeding party", I realized that there were many mothers around me who went through the same painful process and could not complete it successfully. I am writing this article not to give them bookish information, but to provide them with courage to continue their determination and to make them feel that they are not alone in this painful process.
I will not emphasize the importance of breast milk and breastfeeding in terms of baby health and the mother-child relationship. You already understand the importance I attach to this, from the fact that I breastfed for twenty months. I had in mind to breastfeed for twenty-four months as long as my nature permitted, and I had prepared myself for this. As you can imagine, when it comes to children, nothing happens as we planned.
Since we switched to supplementary food, the only issue that Onur and I had uneasiness about was food. Believe me, I am not saying this out of dissatisfaction with the mother, we have always tried to maintain his diet with little and selected foods, coyly, for fourteen months. I am writing my article using the first person plural because my mother and I take on all the responsibility for Onur's care. We were now stuck, we were researching what and how to make him like it and trying new recipes, but we couldn't get Onur to eat any of them. While I was being sensitive about spending quality time with him, I began to spend most of my time in the kitchen trying to distract him while cooking, because he was picky about food and took two spoons of what he chose and left it behind. When he went to sleep, the time left for me was spent cleaning up the dishes of at least two dishes that had been tried but failed. This situation was destroying all the energy I tried to maintain between us. He was refusing to eat, relying on breast milk, but breast milk alone could not compensate for the energy he spent during the day. enough He woke up frequently at night because he fell asleep by sucking the breast without feeding. These frequent awakenings at night made me exhausted because I was breastfeeding every time and caused poor quality sleep, and it was not good for my nervous system. At times, I felt like I was becoming intolerant of even the things I found cute about him.
In addition, I had to distance myself from the individual social life that we all need to devote to ourselves in order to stay motivated in certain routines. Since he woke up from his sleep and could only fall asleep by sucking, I couldn't leave him with anyone and go anywhere. About two months ago, I made my first attempt at weaning, but while making this attempt, I was aware that I was still not very convinced in my conscience, and I must have made Onur feel my indecision, because that night we failed, but the breast won again.
The breast was now hindering the sweet energy between Onur and me. This time I was really determined and convinced. Yes, I would not be able to breastfeed him for twenty-four months as I had planned in my mind, but when I put together the harm that four months of missing breastfeeding would do to him and the lack that it would make him feel, and the harm that the disrupted feeding and sleeping patterns while breastfeeding for four more months would do to me, and therefore to him, all my motherly feelings convinced me that this had to end. had happened. Of course, everyone had an idea to give on this matter. Some talked about applying tomato paste, some talked about applying coffee, and some talked about sticking tape. Those who said "let him breastfeed as much as he can", those who said "the boy needs to breastfeed more, don't stop", those who said "oh I breastfed him until he was three years old, I would have breastfed him longer", I was about to get stuck with my mental health on one side, so I started the process with a tough determination. I was a little bit intrigued by something called the yellow patience stone, so I bought it just in case. Before making this decision, I shared my feelings and thoughts with my family, and they also supported me. I went to pick up Onur from my mother after work, and the first thing Onur said when he saw me was not "mom" but "memeeee". At first I tried to draw his attention to other things, he became more insistent, and when I tried to use the crying trump card, my mother, who had supported me a few evenings ago, intervened and said, 'Oh, you'll start in the evening, what a pity, if you give it one more time...' I didn't give up, the party was starting now. 'Son, breasts are very painful I started to explain, "He is sick now (he was really irritated now that his teeth are coming out, I did not deceive the child), and the milk has run out in the breast." Then I took him for a walk, we met with our friends he loved very much, and we had a good time. He didn't mention the breast much while traveling. It was time to go home. I was constantly encouraging myself while driving. You will succeed, don't be nervous, this is the beginning of a more enjoyable process for both you and him, yes it may be a bit painful, but if you stay calm, you will help your baby get through it more easily. When he got home he was hungry and of course a meme riot broke out. I thought I'd try it and see what that patience stone is, and I said, 'Son, I told you that the breast got sick and the milk has run out. If you're hungry, I can make you your favorite pear pudding.' Onur looked at the breast first. In fact, the breast did not have a traumatic appearance, but for some reason he must have thought that something was wrong with that breast, so he became uneasy and did not want to suck, but continued to cry. Meanwhile, I kept telling him in the same clear sentences that the breast had run out of milk, that I would prepare very nice food for him that he would love, that he was growing up and milk was not enough for him, and that these foods would make him stronger and healthier. We started bedtime again with the rituals of brushing teeth and reading a book. Of course, there were crying spells in bed, but I had promised to keep my calm, I had to reassure her. I kept telling him the same simple sentences, and while I was trying to help him fall asleep by hugging him, stroking his hair, petting his back, and telling stories, even if it took a long time, he woke up again and this time he tried to breastfeed me (psychologists can also do bad things from time to time). When he didn't calm down for a long time, we got up, went to the living room, and turned on baby TV. He calmed down a bit, then we turned on some music, and at that moment I was stroking him on my lap to help him calm down, and then he fell asleep with the music on my lap. He woke up again with a few fits at night, but again, with those simple sentences, I told him that the breast was over, and then when I started telling stories about the activities of the next day that would interest him, he calmed down a little more and fell asleep again. It was important for me to be able to start the process with determination on the first night. On other days, they got it wrong from time to time, but I always explained it with the same sentences. I did this and then distracted her interest in the breast with stories or games that would attract her attention. Since the first day we started the process, Onur's feeding became very enjoyable, his night wakings decreased to one or two, and I gave him water, stroked his hair and whispered words of confidence to help him fall asleep.
In conclusion, I can say that the key words that helped me make my decision successful were 'determination, stability, knowing your child'. No one knows what is best for you and your child more than you. What I am talking about is our breastfeeding process, but we can also exhibit the same attitudes for situations such as toilet training and sleep training. You must first be convinced about what you and your child need and for what reasons, so that you can take a stance that will give your child confidence. Of course, it will not be easy for him to quit the habit he has been maintaining for a long time, but with your trusting approach, his adaptation to this situation will become easier. You should consider his cries as natural until he gets used to them. If you treat these cries as 'hurting' him, you will not be successful in any process. If you accompany his cries with reassuring approaches, you can be a compass for him in dealing with difficulties. I hope this article will be a strength article for mothers who do not know how to do it. I wish you all strength and determination. Best regards…
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