Students preparing for the exam may, on the one hand, have a very intense study tempo, and on the other hand, worry about disappointing their family and those around them or failing. This struggle process may cause them to become tired over time. Students who are tired both psychologically and physically may become sensitive, fragile or angry over time. At this point, it is very important for parents to be very careful in their relationships with their children. So what can be done? What are the issues that need to be taken into consideration?
Checking the efficiency of the study system
In this process where time is very important, a systematic and efficient 2-3 hours of study is inefficient. It is much more useful than a 10-hour study. If you notice a deficiency in the efficiency of your child's work, you can obtain the necessary information from the guidance department, psychologist or teachers.
Psychological support
There may be periods when your child experiences anxiety and hopelessness during the process. They may get caught up in thoughts such as, "There are subjects that I cannot succeed in anyway, that I cannot do...". Attitudes during these periods are very important, we should encourage him, but be careful that this encouragement does not stress him. Although “We trust you” sounds like a very nice word, it may inevitably put pressure on the child in the process. Instead, “Whether you pass the exam or not, we are your mother and father, we will always be by your side and support you. "Nothing can change our love for you and the value we give to you." You can reassure him by saying sentences like: Feelings of failure, inadequacy and worthlessness can cause self-confidence problems during adolescence. If you see a decrease or lack of motivation in your child, seeking psychological support instead of dealing with this issue yourself will prevent your relationship from fraying.
Your child's capacity and capabilities
Everyone wants to be successful, but sometimes even if they have all the equipment, they may not be able to achieve the success they deserve. The reasons for this may be problems such as lack of motivation, not working efficiently, anxiety, personal or family problems. On the way to success, first of all, these problems should be minimized. We must try to reduce it to . The success achieved in this way reflects more on one's own competence. Once the necessary conditions are met, you should create your expectations according to your child's capacity. Expecting less than you can do can lead to laziness, while expecting more can lead to discouragement, anxiety and panic. Parents know their children best. Setting goals that he can achieve; It helps increase motivation, enthusiasm for work and increase work efficiency. It may not be right to not react at all when you get a low score, or to ask why you didn't get a higher score when you got an average score.
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Why do you think this might have happened?
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What can we do about it?
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Is there any point where we can support you?
With such questions, you can understand your child's needs, fill his/her shortcomings and support him/her. Searching for solutions together, consulting with your child, and generating ideas together will make your child more positive and willing to develop an attitude towards problems. Thus, in your child's eyes, solutions cease to be your imposition and turn into cooperation.
Career Choice
Some parents want their children to realize their dreams that they could not realize. While they do this with pure good intentions, they may overlook the possibility that it may not be what's best for their child. Although your child is a part of you, he is a separate individual and may have different desires and needs, dreams and abilities. He may not be able to do something you can do, or he may do something you cannot do. When choosing a career, you need to question his/her characteristics and abilities and the lifestyle he/she wants to live. Yes, some guidance may be needed, which can be carried out by you together with a consultant. Encouragement or telling the truth may be necessary, but this should be on the areas your child wants.
Not questioning your child's opinion about dreams and ideals may result in him wanting to change departments in the future, losing a year, or not wanting to do that job after graduation. While helping your child not to make the wrong choice, It may be most beneficial for him to talk about his interests, talents and professions in which he can be happy in the future.
Meeting with people working in your dream profession and seeing the working environment can help make better decisions. It is best to ask the person working in the field about the most enjoyable, motivating and most challenging aspects of the job. Telling only the good or the bad aspects of the people you meet may cause the decision to be distorted and take it away from reality.
Study means
In this process, while children complain about their parents constantly telling them to study. , parents may also complain about their children not studying. Unfortunately, most of the time, saying "study" may not lead us to a useful result. Warnings that are spoken too much have a feature of losing their effect. Of course, it may be useful to give reminders from time to time; you can also accomplish this task by setting an alarm if you wish. The important thing here is that your relationship with your child does not wear out. Moreover, what is important is not that the child sits at the desk for hours, but that he works productively. You can make sure that he completes and 'understands' the topics he needs to complete that day. You can try to direct them to work without causing tension or emotional distance between you. If stress increases, your child may start to do the opposite of what you say.
Making comparisons
Being compared is actually the most uncomfortable behavior for everyone, but sometimes we forget this and compare our spouse, friends, employees or children with others. We think that this will lead the other person to be better, but as we know from ourselves, comparison is of no use and causes negative effects. Emotions such as resentment, rage, anger, and jealousy cause behavior that may change to remain unchanged. Let's not forget that comparison can deeply shake a healthy relationship.
Reward
You can set out rewards that you will give to your child in case of success. It may be useful to pay attention to the rewards you can give so that their trust in you is not shaken. fee at the end of the exam Apart from this, small rewards that can be obtained in the short term increase the motivation to work. Make sure your child has ideas when determining the rewards, rewards that are good for you may not be good for him/her. Giving feedback is also verbal rewards, it is very valuable to appreciate your child when he/she achieves success in exams. Recognizing and appreciating the progress made, even if small, ensures that progress continues and increases motivation and courage.
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