Why do some children have difficulty in functional areas such as sleeping, feeding, self-care, continuing their school life, etc. after an earthquake? Some people move on with their lives very easily.
Children actually acquire the idea that they are safe and that the world is a safe place between the ages of 0-3. Secure attachment is the most important developmental factor between mother and child. At the same time, secure attachment is a reflection of the reactions and emotions received from the mother's eyes in the face of a disaster. If the mother looks at her baby with compassion in the face of disaster and tries to calm her baby down, the child will receive the message "the world is safe" from the mother's eyes. Children watch their mothers and get clues from their mother's reaction, facial expression, and tone of voice about whether the event is big or scary, and they act accordingly. If the mother is in panic, the child panics more. If the parents are pessimistic or depressed, the child is more affected by negativities.
As with adults, an earthquake is a frightening and difficult experience for children to cope with.
Children are most afraid of the uncertainties that will occur after the earthquake. Although not in all children, the effects after the earthquake become more permanent and inevitable in some children. Since these children's need for trust is severely damaged, they experience natural disasters such as earthquakes in a much deeper and more stressful way, and these children are more prone to post-traumatic stress disorder.
There are some behaviors frequently observed in children after an earthquake. Although we cannot see these behaviors in some children, the following behaviors can be observed in some children. All of these behaviors can be observed, or there may be several of them. In some children, it causes behavioral changes that occur immediately after a natural well-being, which we call acute stress disorder, while in others, it causes visible behavioral disorders that form the basis of further traumas, which we call post-traumatic stress disorder.
- Do not show aggression, very Getting angry easily and frequently, restlessness, crying
- Sudden change in behavior or emergence of new behavior. For example; A calm child suddenly becomes an aggressive child such as swearing, etc.
- Excessive activity, impaired concentration.
- Disruption in sleep patterns or habits; not being able to sleep alone, having nightmares, not being able to sleep, waking up frequently, waking up early and not being able to sleep again, bedwetting
- Troubling at night, grinding of teeth
- Fear of being alone, fear of others moving away, following you around , fear of going to school or nursery, fear of being left alone in the toilet,
- Thumb sucking, nail biting, etc. behaviors,
- Displaying more babyish behavior compared to his age,
- Nausea, abdominal pain, vomiting, headache, dizziness, feeding disorders without any physical cause,
- Becoming quiet and withdrawn, avoiding talking about these events,
How to approach children after the earthquake is very important.
Informing children about the events that took place, Helping them make sense of this process is the most important thing. Because children are afraid of things they don't understand. That's why most traumas remain "trauma". A child who finds meaning does not experience the negative memory as a trauma.
Children should be told what an earthquake is like, that it is a rare event but also a natural event. For example, just as it snows and lightning strikes in winter, we must thoroughly explain that this event is also a natural disaster.
Things that should never be said to children!
Dear parents; Sometimes, we can unknowingly make big, irreversible mistakes for our children in order to motivate them and increase their motivation. For example; Using the earthquake as a punishment for your child who does not like to study. Expressions that have a very high meaning but are also damaging, such as "Look, if you don't study, an earthquake will happen like this" or, as parents, "If we die, you will be very sad, so study and study." p>Some parents may attribute serious feelings of guilt to children by equating natural disasters such as earthquakes with religious and spiritual values. For example; There are beliefs that earthquakes are not in vain and are a natural stimulant for people. "The world has come to an end", "This is a warning" etc. These sentences already affect families negatively, but they affect children much more deeply. Children growing up in such families consider earthquakes as a natural punisher. Beliefs such as "I deserved this from God because I was a bad child" or "I was punished for swearing at my friends" are more active in Muslim countries.
On the contrary; As in every incident, we must explain to children very well that this disaster is not related to any 'misdemeanor' they have committed, that they are not guilty of this, and that this disaster is not a "punishment" given to them. Getting down to eye level with them and holding their hands while talking are important behaviors to meet their trust needs. Frequently using and repeating reassuring phrases such as "we are together", "I love you, I will protect you", and establishing physical contact are soothing actions for the child. The child should never be told that there is nothing to be afraid of. Because we must allow him to experience the feeling of 'fear' and provide him with the skills to calm himself down.
In very young age groups, even if he seems unaffected by the earthquake;
We must allow him to make sense of the event in his mind by talking about it over and over again. A mentality such as "They didn't understand because they were too young" is completely wrong. The child feels everything that is wrong, and our part is to open up these feelings and explain the cycle of the event over and over again. ''So what happened now...? What happened then…? What did you do…? How did you feel…? By asking questions such as "What were your friends doing…?" and visualizing the event in your mind, we actually minimize other traumatic experiences that may occur.
In short, the earthquake affected all of us and its effects can still continue. Adults were affected as much as children, and some of us may have reactivated negative experiences related to the old earthquake. If you have unexpected psychosomatic complaints, changes in your behavior, or deterioration in your mentality, I may recommend that you seek expert support. Likewise, not only us, but also experts in dealing with the adaptation problems we observe in our children after a disaster such as an earthquake. instant assistance is necessary and important.
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