With a very basic assumption, people approach things they enjoy and move away from things that cause them pain. Why can some people make suffering or being unhappy a part of their lives?
Why do they always prefer to complain where they are when they have options that can make them feel better?
Sometimes they leave the office I go out and walk and observe people silently. I can feel that most of them are fighting with something or someone in their minds. That familiar expression, which is unhappy and sometimes sad on their faces, has settled in the middle of their faces as if it will never go away. The sides of their lips are inclined downwards, the line of deep thought in the middle of the two eyebrows indicates their mood. and gives clues about his entire life. If you hold out a microphone and ask why you are not happy, you will hear a lot of events or stories. For some, unhappiness turns into a habit or a choice they make without realizing it. If this situation changes even for a moment, they either panic or quickly return to the old chronic situation.
Among the possible reasons why people are constantly unhappy are insecure relationship styles carried over from childhood to the present and low self-confidence. Children who come from families with excessive rules and high expectations may think that happiness is the ability to earn money when they grow up. If the family's approval depends on money, and they don't earn enough money to prove themselves to them, they are still unhappy. If the family's approval depends on the status, they become unhappy because they cannot achieve the status. A person who always tries harder and cannot find emotional satisfaction gets stuck in this vicious circle. Some people can also describe being unhappy and not trusting people as being realistic. Those who think that being realistic is possible by seeing the negatives are trying to protect themselves from disappointments by not seeing the positive side of events. Therefore, since these people cannot cope with disappointment, they continue their lives in the swamp of unhappiness, in the murky water whose bottom they cannot see. These people do not know what to do with happiness or happy events, unfortunately. At this point, the effect of human beings' fear of the unknown comes into play and this feeling becomes scary. This is how we become afraid of being happy
Unhappiness can also motivate some people. He is trying as hard as he can to get it from someone's car. Happiness is either in finishing school, when a good job is found, or when one marries the man or woman one wants so much, that is, it is always in the future. For some, this event that is sought after and expected to come in the future is seen as disciplinary and motivating, but the level of consciousness that is not satisfied with the satisfaction it gains from the effort it puts in, becomes happy with it later on. It isn't happening. Happiness, which is always attributed to the future, never comes.
Some of the unfinished books in the past, unfinished work, feelings of guilt and regrets can cause people to punish themselves with unhappiness. Knowingly or unknowingly, they hurt both themselves and those closest to them, their spouse, children or a loved one. It is possible to see the child punishing his parents. Naturally, in all the examples we have given, unhappiness fulfills a function. Unhappiness that serves a purpose will not be replaced by positive emotions unless that purpose is realized and processed. There must be other methods other than unhappiness to deal with the traumatic memories of the past.
The skill of being happy can be improved. As long as we are eager to improve. Being able to enjoy happiness in the flow without postponing it can be perceived as developing some talent.
Because, as we mentioned at the beginning, people will prefer to be close to whatever makes them happy. This is our natural nature, otherwise it requires a different effort.
You can learn and improve how to use functional coping methods, regardless of your age.
With LOVE….
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