Marriage; It is the coming together of two different individuals with different values and attitudes and with two different family stories to establish a family, as deemed appropriate by law, for a lifetime.
Family. As it is known, it is the smallest and yet most important part of society. According to the small part of the definition, it is vital for societies. When each individual reaches a certain age, they get married according to the decision they make together.
Of course, no one marries to be unhappy, but a wrong decision made in that process can push us to unhappiness.
What should be considered before marriage, what kind of person should we marry?
I'm sure most of my readers who read this article are excitedly waiting to know exactly who and what kind of marriage should be made with the right person, but actually there is no clear answer to this, that is, in this journey for two people, the life, culture, thoughts and beliefs of both individuals are very different. There are many factors that vary and these will be the key to every relationship.
As I mentioned at the beginning of my article, there are two different individuals, two different values and cultures. Each of us may have different expectations from marriage. There is no clear right or wrong here. Situations that suit each individual's lifestyle may vary, but there is a fact that everyone aims to be happy within this family structure.
Therefore, in this structure, which we call husband and wife, the spouses are married before they get married. During the previous dating period, they should try to get to know each other as accurately as possible, spend time together, and spending time with their close circle of friends will be beneficial to get to know each other. Some of the issues I have listed below will be a mirror to you for a happy marriage.
First of all, the main questions that newlyweds should ask themselves are:
Can we sit and chat with the person in front of me? Do we understand each other and enjoy spending time together? How much do our views align on basic issues like work, money and kids? p;? Can we cope with the problems? Do we have the strength and faith to share a lifetime?
Spouses listening to each other (effective communication)
One of the main problems of today and one of the most common problems in relationships. Inaccurate communication between spouses. So how can effective communication be achieved?
Spouses should listen to each other in order to understand each other correctly. It should be known that it is not possible for people who do not listen to each other to establish a healthy relationship.
Being listened to is a sign that the other person is valued. In our society, men complain that women talk too much, but the woman here is actually a woman who cannot be understood even though she is talking. His wife pretends to listen to him, but he doesn't, and the woman continues to repeat the same things with this feeling of worthlessness and not being understood.
Maintain eye contact while talking to your spouse. . “I understand you mean this?”, “Please correct me if I misunderstood, do you mean this?” Show that you listen to the listener effectively with intermediate sentences.
It will be beneficial for the spouses to have an empathetic approach to each other and to convey their current positive and negative feelings to each other in an open, sincere and straightforward manner.
Not accepting each other's differences, another factor that may cause problems between spouses is their persistent attempts to change each other's and their established and unpleasant patterns of thought and behavior. It is necessary to accept the person you love as they are. There is a saying: either you will herd this camel or you will leave this land. Like retaliation here, you will either accept the other person as they are, or you will part ways to find the person you want for the rest of your life.
Awareness of responsibility and its place in the relationship, the couple in the dating period has not yet taken into full responsibilities, the things for which both individuals are responsible are more It is different. However, with marriage, there will be a family, and responsibilities and expectations will change accordingly.
Many issues that were not present during the marriage decision and dating period may arise. In fact, we can describe this phase, which we call the dating period, as a period when couples are more excited, have higher emotional intensity, and have less anxiety about the future. Things can turn into chaos when two individuals who are about to start a family, and their own family of origin, become involved in the business.
To have gained the ability to deal with the problem. So, what is the problem meant here? If we combine it literally, the problem is often the situation when we encounter a situation that we do not want when we do not expect it, and it needs to be thought about and a positive or negative result should be achieved.
Problem solving required to solve the problems of the spouses that arise during the process. It is important that they acquire the skills to cope with problems.
Sexuality, as a society, we are ashamed to talk about sexuality. Although it is a subject that is not talked about much between couples, one of the secrets of a happy marriage is sexuality.
Sexuality is a concept that needs to be discussed before marriage or during the marriage process. In addition, known misconceptions about sexuality must be transformed into correct information, and sexuality is actually a behavior that can be learned and improved.
Having a relationship, or rather having a healthy relationship, is a skill and a concept that can be learned. During this process, if the spouses do not understand each other, do not listen to each other, and are often in a state of confusion and argument, getting help from an expert will be very beneficial for the marriage decision they will make and the family structure they will lead in the future.
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