Recently, the news of sexual abuse of children and legal regulations have been on the agenda, which has increased the concerns of families about this issue.
In this article, we wanted to enlighten you on what sexual abuse is and what are the ways to protect it:
What is sexual abuse?
Sexual abuse is a person who is not yet mentally and physically mature enough to understand sexuality. It is the use of an immature child or adolescent by a mature person for sexual gratification by being forced or persuaded by a person at least 5 years older than him/her.
In order to call this type of behavior sexual abuse, there is a relationship between the person committing the behavior and the victim. Having a five-year age difference is an important psychological and legal criterion. In all types of abuse, whether the child has consented or not is not a criterion.
From which environment does harassment come most?
It mostly comes from adults whom the child and the family know and trust to a certain extent. .
What kind of education should be given to the child about sexual abuse?
Children learn from how we treat our environment rather than what we teach them.
If we have difficulty setting boundaries for our children, not only physically but also spiritually, they will also have difficulty setting boundaries with another adult. For example, if your child has difficulty sharing his toy with his friend and you stubbornly advise him to give his toy because his behavior upsets his friend, he will learn that "even if you don't want to, you should do something you don't like for someone else." To give another example, if you love your child by pushing and pushing him, and when he objects to this situation, you force your child with criticisms saying "but look, you are making me sad", he will not limit another person regarding his body and will allow what is done to him.
Based on these examples, you should first respect the boundaries your child has set for you so that he or she does not have difficulty saying "no" to someone else.
Other situations that need to be taken into consideration are when anyone in the family touches them in a way they do not want or It is teaching them to say "no" when they are asked to touch themselves/others.
They should be told that they, like everyone else, have some "private" body parts, what the names of these parts are, who can touch them and how they can touch them, and in order for them to protect these boundaries. They should be encouraged.
What are the signs that the child has been subjected to harassment?
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Situations in which the child is more withdrawn or restless than usual
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Difficulty falling asleep at night, frequent nightmares
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Returning to certain behaviors beyond one's age (such as bedwetting)
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Experiencing outbursts of anger
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A state of fear/avoidance of certain places or people
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Eating change in pattern (decrease or increase)
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Increase in knowledge about sexual matters beyond his age (such as slang words he has never said before)
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>Playing with sexual acts beyond his age while playing with his toys
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Self-harming behaviors (nail biting, cutting, hair pulling, etc.)
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Running away from home/school
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Pain, discoloration (such as bruising) or bleeding around the genital area, anus or mouth
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Pain while going to the toilet (more than once)
So what should families do if they suspect that they are experiencing such a situation?
First of all, they can ask their children about the events and people that have been bothering them or challenging them lately, in a reassuring tone of voice and calmness, without seeming to question the situation. At this point, families who think they will have difficulty remaining calm can get support from an expert (psychologist, psychiatrist). The reactions to the child's first statement are very important;
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The child says calmly; The child should be listened to without worrying or getting angry,
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The child should be believed, and it should be explained that what happened to him/her is not his/her fault.
If children tell about what happened; They fear that their abusers will harm them, that they will upset and anger their parents, that their families will break up (especially (if the abuser is a family member), they fear that they will be separated from their family.
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The child should be protected against the possibility that the abuser will harm him/her again.
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This At this point it is necessary to contact the judicial authorities. While seeking medical help for the treatment of the child's possible medical problems, it is important to contact a mental health professional to ensure that the child victim is evaluated and receives the necessary support.
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The important point to remember is this: by covering or Waiting for children to get over such a serious event by pretending it didn't happen will do more harm than good. We know that speaking is healing, while silence or silencing deepens the wounds, and that the support of a competent psychotherapist in child abuse accelerates healing.
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After the incident is revealed, it is necessary to inform the child about the judicial processes. Simply explaining to him in advance what the process will be like will help him experience the process less problematically.
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Reminding that the child continues to be loved by his family, making it clear to the child that what happened is not his fault and that his family continues to love him. It is extremely important to say this for the healing to begin.
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