While you remember the day you held your child in your arms like it was yesterday, today you are making a brand new start for him/her. The first tooth, the first step, the first age, and starting kindergarten is a very important step for both families and the child. Being in a different environment than the one he has lived in since his birth, sometimes adapting to rules other than what he is used to, feeling safe and establishing new relationships are all new beginnings.
The child, who reaches a certain psycho-social maturity after the age of 3, begins the socialization process. has reached a level where he/she can continue in school. Starting kindergarten can be a good feeling, but at times it can involve intense anxiety for both parties. The anxiety experienced due to uncertainty in the initial period decreases and disappears as the child gets to know the environment and trusts the teacher. Children are not the only ones experiencing anxiety during this period. It is a very important point for the adaptation process that their families do not reflect their concerns about their children onto them. A child who sees that his family is calm, determined and consistent can get through this process more easily. Therefore, it is very important for the family as well as the child to be ready for this situation in order to start kindergarten.
While the adaptation process to kindergarten is sometimes completed quickly and easily, sometimes the course of this process varies depending on the attitudes of the families, the child's individual differences, and the child's pre-school life. can show. When we consider the first month on average as an adaptation process, what can we as parents do in this process?
First of all, the first condition for the adaptation process is for families to be "determined". Now that your child has reached a certain level of maturity, it is very important for his psycho-social development that he spends more time with his peers. At this point, it is important not to act emotionally as a parent. Do not forget that if you surrender once, your efforts up to that point will be in vain and the adaptation process that starts from the beginning again will be more resistant.
Another important point is that the parents act "consistently" as a family. Adaptation to school is a process and parents should support each other in the eyes of the child until this process is completed. The attitude of a family member (grandmother/grandfather) in favor of the child displaying it may make the situation incomprehensible. We must not forget that if we cannot be consistent and determined, we will not only complicate the process but also postpone what needs to happen until later years. We should not forget that if a child who has difficulty in the adaptation process at the age of 4 does not attend school, he will experience these feelings again and more intensely at the age of 6 or 7, that is, when he first meets the school.
It is important not to be absent, especially at the beginning. While the problems experienced during the adaptation process decrease towards the weekend, they may recur more intensely on Monday with the introduction of Saturdays and Sundays. Discussing school arrival and departure times in advance and keeping our promises on this issue reduces the anxiety experienced by the child. Visiting the child's school, getting to know his class and seeing his teacher before starting school can facilitate the adaptation process. Saying goodbye at school carries a great risk for children who are dropped off at school by their families in the morning. While it is preferred that the farewell be short, it should not be forgotten that being long makes it difficult to leave the mother/father.
When your child comes from school, it would be better to wait for him to tell what he experienced at school instead of bombarding him with questions. Making requests from the school/teacher in line with your child's demands (okay, I will tell the teacher, if there is spinach in the meal, you will not eat it) does not coincide with the concept of school, where learning takes place within the framework of certain rules. The first condition for living together is to be able to adapt to the existing rules. We should not forget that the adaptation process is a normal situation for the child, and that the child reacts to change and uncertainty in his life. Resistance to sleep, loss of appetite, aggression or moodiness during this period are defense mechanisms developed by the child. These difficulties, which are generally experienced when starting school, can sometimes be experienced by some children after the school is discovered. Whenever the process of adaptation to school takes longer than normal and the reactions increase instead of decreasing, then there is a period of time. Support can be obtained from the counselor.
Adapting to school is a process that requires time. I wish you to be calm, consistent and determined with love in this process...
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