Learning to be a good listener is an important skill. It is important for parents to learn listening skills as much as children. You can check out this article about communicating better with your child and being a good listener. While talking to your child, you may increase or decrease your child's ability to listen to you. Managing moments of crisis is one of the key turning points that shape personality and life. Take a look below at 5 situations where you unintentionally tell your child not to listen to you and golden suggestions to fix these situations:
1. PRESENTING IT AS AN OPTION
When giving an instruction to your child, you may be presenting it as a choice. For example: “Are you going to eat dinner?” “Pick up your shoes, okay?”.
As adults, we can realize that these sentences do not express much of a choice. But children can actually see these questions as choices. Try to say directly what you want to be done. This doesn't mean yell at him or not be nice. In fact, research has shown that children adapt better to instructions containing a soft tone of voice and positive expressions. If we go by the examples above, say to your child, "We are waiting for you for dinner, come on." "Please put your shoes away." you can say.
2. ACTIVING THE WRONG PICTURE
We mentioned above that children adapt better to instructions with positive attitudes. If what you say to your child appears in the mind as the opposite of what you said, you have not expressed what you want clearly. Children may interpret your words differently in such situations. Let's go through another example: When you say "rocking in the chair", the picture of rocking in the chair will come to your child's mind. Instead, “Sit on the chair, keep your feet on the floor, your butt on the chair, and look at the person speaking with your eyes, please.” This way he will understand that you are listening to him.” you can say. When you express yourself in this way, the mental picture will be completely different. It would be a clearer approach for both parties to approach by saying what we want him to do, rather than what you do not want to see/hear. You may cause confusion by directing him to do it completely while trying to indicate that you do not want him to do it.
3. AVOIDING EYE CONTACT
Adults can be quite busy in their daily lives. However, when you talk to your child and do not get down to his level, he will be less likely to understand what you say. Therefore, when communicating with your child, get down to his level, look into his eyes, and make physical contact. If possible, first call him to him in an environment where he is not present and then express your wishes or what you want to share. Eye contact is the most important part of communication, valuing and effective listening/understanding.
4. FORGETTING TO CONNECT
If you want your children to listen to you, you must first make them feel that you care. Notice and value your child's emotions and use different tools such as humor and storytelling. For example: Among 3 siblings, the older one is building something with wooden blocks and the other 2 siblings are ruining his game. Your first reaction might be to include your siblings in the game. At this point, your child will feel that you see him/her at fault in this situation. You can encourage your child to think about solutions that will help his siblings not interfere with his play. Whenever possible, let the child produce the solution, not you. “What can you do not to spoil your brothers' game? So what can you do to prevent your brother from spoiling your game? You can make interventions that both lead to thinking and calm the environment, such as.
It would be a very appropriate approach to use these precious moments effectively to raise individuals who think, see their mistakes, learn from their mistakes and look for solutions.
5. EXPERIENCED DIFFICULTY IN ENSURING CONTINUITY
When our behaviors are incomplete, words lose their meaning. You set a limit for your child (no playing with a ball in the house), but later when you ignore this game, your child may start to ignore you as a parent. Every limit you set may be challenged in the future. When you set a rule from the beginning, make sure you follow it. When you tell your child not to go up to the table, be sure to take him down every time he goes up to the table. Clarify and protect your yes and no.
Setting limits on your child does not mean being harsh and punitive. You can protect your boundaries in a respectful and polite way. your. It is very valuable for a person to be disciplined and to discipline himself and his actions. Discipline is an acquired skill. It is important to know the limits. Gaining discipline is important for individuals who know their responsibilities, can adjust where they should stand and where they should not, and have strong self-control. Do not limit the child's behavior, let him experience his emotions freely, do not neglect discipline in his behavior.
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