The institution of marriage refers to the coming together of two people of different genders who do not have any obstacles to marriage, for the purpose of establishing a family. It is known that marriage aims to satisfy psychological and social needs. In our country, the selection of a spouse is carried out by the selection of the partner who meets the individual's expectations and wishes, usually by his/her own decision or by family elders and social circle, which is called an arranged marriage. Knowing our partner well and making accurate evaluations during the time spent before marriage is important for the continuity of the marriage. The basic rule of establishing a healthy family is that the parties know each other as well as the individuals know themselves well.
When choosing a partner, there may be differences between the person we create in our minds and the person we are with in reality. There are many reasons that put a strain on couples in marriage and even lead to the end of the marriage. Among these, severe incompatibility is one of the most common situations. Couples' inability to adequately meet each other's emotional needs, decreased expectations regarding marriage, communication problems, words and behaviors that can be defined as violence, failure to support each other in times of social or individual need, disrespectful and distrustful behaviors can be cited as examples of severe discord.
For a happy marriage, we must stay away from the attitudes of criticism, contempt, self-defense and building walls, which Gottman calls the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, which damage relationships.
In marriage, Couples should not ignore each other's emotional needs. Discover the impact of communication by showing genuine interest in your partner, saying kind words, hugging, making eye contact, and making affirming statements.
Accept your spouse as he is and respect his tastes and choices without trying to change him.
Take care to be understanding. Demonstrate your empathy skills. Avoid statements such as "You definitely shouldn't have done that." "You're guilty." Give the message 'I understand how you feel'.
Exhibit a 'We' attitude. The power of family solidarity Support your partner by believing in his reputation.
Remember that your partner needs you, talk about possible situations instead of giving moral lessons.
Remember that in some situations, even just being a good listener will be very beneficial for your relationship.
Be careful to bring up minor issues. Remember that the accumulated problems will become more unsolvable in the future.
If, despite all this, the problems in your marriage have become insurmountable, you can get support from an expert to repair and improve your marriage.
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