In our articles last week, we have examined the Parent Ego State and the Adult Ego State in detail. This week I want to talk to you about our last Ego State, 'Child'. Have a nice read..
Child Ego State is a reflection of the emotions, thoughts and experiences of the individual from the moment he is born to the first childhood period (0-5 years old). In other words, the individual records his experiences between the ages of 0 - 5, the emotions he feels during these experiences and the memories he creates, and this recording creates the Child Ego State. Since our vocabulary is not yet developed at that age and our mental development has just begun, our memories consist of emotions rather than complex processes. We exhibit reactive behaviors to express these emotions. In the simplest example, when we fall and bleed our knee, we cry instead of cleaning our wound, because we are not yet qualified to express and analyze our own behavior in words. As in this example, all the experiences that we have, remember or do not remember in the first years of our life and the intense emotional reactions we give to these experiences are recorded in our 'Child' self.
Child Ego State is the emotional and reactive side of our selves. In other words, it is the 'feeling' side of ourselves. When we act without thinking about the consequences of our actions, when we listen to our feelings, when we give intense emotional reactions to the events we experience, it means that the 'Child' side of our selves has taken over the management. Laughing heartily, sobbing, having fun without thinking about the end, falling in love desperately are also examples of the behavior patterns of our Child Ego State. In short, the individual experiences the fun and intense emotional side of life with the Child Ego State.
Although the Child Ego State is an important part of our self, it does not only consist of positive behavior patterns. Since we are inadequate and in need of care in our early childhood, our behavior patterns may be extremely angry, intensely sad or resentful. In adulthood, although we have the competence to solve a real problem, our Child Ego State may come into play and display an overreactive and dysfunctional behavior. Or at a point where we need to act more cautiously Child Ego D Our organization can take excessive risks and drag us into a harmful situation. For example, your friends invited you to a party when you had a very important business meeting the next day. You have joined the party, but the clock has ticked and you have to go home and rest the next day to be fit. At that time, when a voice inside you says, “I don't care, I want to stay and have fun”, this voice comes from your Child self.
In such cases, the Adult Ego State should dominate over the Child Ego State so that the individual can make correct and functional decisions, and 'Child Ego State' It needs to distinguish non-functional messages from . Continuing our previous example, our Adult side becomes aware of our Child side who wants to stay at the party and says, “No, I care more about my job and tomorrow's meeting than this party. By saying I can have fun in a more comfortable time, it both prevents dysfunctional behavior and satisfies the Child Ego State with the promise of having fun later. Next week we will talk about the types of Child Ego State. I wish you healthy and happy days.
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