“If you want to make others happy,
Be compassionate.
If you want to make yourself happy,
Again, be compassionate.”
Dalai Lama
Compassion arises in the event of suffering. In order to show compassion, a person must first accept the pain. But fear and thoughts of suffering are obstacles to compassion. In fact, it is not the pain itself that causes distress in the person, but the meanings and thoughts given to the pain. Rather than running away from pain or fighting it, it takes courage to approach the distress, accept it, and establish friendship. Compassion includes mercy, tolerance and courage. It is necessary to continue with the pain, not despite it, and accept that the pain is temporary. No emotion, no negative thought is permanent.
Compassion is an action that comes from within. The love that naturally arises within us is to pour out the feeling of kindness to the person who is suffering. It naturally manifests itself when we cut ourselves, get injured, or suffer pain. We generally approach children with more compassion. When your child is hurt, we approach him with compassion and ask him what happened, whether he is hurt, what he feels, his emotions. However, in a challenging life event, we act more harshly towards ourselves, our negative thoughts come into play, and our inner voice that criticizes, judges, and makes us feel inadequate prevents us from feeling compassion for ourselves.
What is self-compassion?
Self-compassion is offering ourselves the same compassion we show to others. Self-compassion requires being kinder to ourselves in difficult times, instead of criticizing ourselves and being cruel to ourselves, and being able to observe pain without identifying with it. Treating yourself just as you would show the support, understanding and compassion that your beloved friend needs in a difficult time when he is in pain, feeling sad and criticizing himself. "How can I support myself in this difficult moment?"
Everything starts at the essence. In order to be compassionate towards others and receive compassion from other people, we must first realize ourselves and be able to show compassion towards ourselves. By being kind to ourselves in difficult times Giving ourselves the necessary support without being judgmental increases self-compassion.
When we go through a difficult moment, what we often need is a good friend with a compassionate heart. But often this may not be possible. What we need to do in difficult times when we are alone is to approach ourselves with love, show compassion and be sincerely kind.
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