One of the most challenging tasks we face in life is raising children. We raise them without any training and without expecting anything in return. Maybe our only expectation is; They are happy, peaceful, self-confident individuals who can deal with problems on their own. For this, we work and strive with all our strength; But even if we try our best, there will be times when things don't work out.
Understanding Your Adolescent ChildĀ 
Adolescence is a period in which the child's personality is shaped and behavioral characteristics begin to become permanent. Your reactions to your teenager directly affect his or her emotions, behavior, and personality. Sometimes, even if you act in harmony with the situation, a sigh, a facial expression, or a movement may be misinterpreted by your teenager, who may easily conclude that he is being criticized, disapproved of, or compared to someone else, and this may trigger a long-lasting conflict. Because, adolescents are much more sensitive than adults, and HOW YOU SAY becomes more important than what you say, especially in difficult situations. To avoid difficult situations, you must first try to understand your child and be willing to make an effort for this. Listening to him, asking appropriate questions when he expresses any emotion, using I language, making observations, not reacting immediately and creating time to spend together will lead to positive reactions and therefore to the establishment of a good relationship.

''No matter what I did, it didn't work'', ''He's doing what he knows'', ''We're having a hard time''
These and similar sentences are sentences I frequently encounter in my daily practice. There are indeed some situations where, quite difficult It can be painful and exhausting. We may encounter the characters of 'a teenager who has lost his energy, slumped shoulders, is grumpy and unhappy' and 'a family that is exhausted and does not know what to do'. At this point, it is necessary to better understand and distinguish the effects of biochemical and hormonal changes specific to adolescence, the child's inherent characteristics and hereditary factors on behavior. One of the most important points to keep in mind is that all unusual behaviors of children, excluding some psychiatric disorders, are actually a "CALL FOR HELP" and a signal to draw attention in that direction. Having a determined, stable and consistent attitude and behavior and applying for the necessary support at points where you are stuck will enable you to cope with events more easily and reduce the burden on you.
As a result; Understanding what is going on with our adolescent child and helping him/her is only possible through effective and constructive communication. Knowing what to say and how to say it, not giving up in the face of difficulties, continuing the fight 1-0 ahead by learning effective methods, and being able to act with a team spirit will make it easier for you to overcome problems. What good thing or success in life is easy to achieve!? What do you think?

**A 'good relationship' with a valued person is the most important experience you can have in life and is an important determinant of how you will feel, how you will think and how you will act in the future. Both your one-on-one relationship with your child and the relationships between you as family members will quickly penetrate your child's world and leave positive or negative effects on his emotional state and behavior.

If your self-awareness is weak, d If you cannot cope with emotional stress, have difficulty understanding emotions and establishing healthy relationships, you cannot progress no matter how smart you are.
Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence

Parenting is perceived as an innate instinctual state. But the main thing is that parenting is a learned situation, and we often apply what we see and learn from our parents to our children.

If we treat people as they are, we will not be honest. However, if we act as they should, we will both be honest and give them the opportunity to see their own mistakes. This paves the way for a good and healthy relationship in the long run.

Adolescents are constantly looking for something to struggle with... This at least gives them something to complain about. Therefore, as parents compromise, adolescents will be forced to desperately search for a type of behavior that will provoke a reaction, and tension and conflict will increase until mom and dad take a certain stance or the child burns down the house.
John Cleese and Robin Skynner

The best thing parents who want to give their children a gift can do is to instill in them the ability to struggle, not be afraid to make mistakes, and constantly learn. This way, their children don't have to be slaves to praise. They will have a long life ahead of them to develop and repair their self-confidence.
Carol S. Dweck


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