The smallest unit of society, the cornerstone of building a healthy society, is the family consisting of mother, father, child or children. The family is the smallest unit where the emotional, physical and social needs of individuals are met, the struggle for survival and the adaptation process are learned first. One of the prerequisites for being a family is to be a husband and wife. Individuals who are aware of the responsibilities brought by husband and wife become more aware of being a family and staying as a family by adapting much more easily to the new member or members of the family. to meet their esteem needs. These needs are accompanied by being valuable, being at the forefront, feeling competent for each of the family members, and tasting the sense of solidarity in the family. In addition to all these, each member of the family has responsibilities towards himself and other members of the family. The family continues to survive by meeting all these needs. In addition to all these, the responsibilities of parents to be husband and wife to each other should not be ignored. Happy husband and wife means happy parents. Happy parents raise healthy individuals with high self-esteem and confidence in the environment. Of course, it is also important that the individuals that make up the family are individuals who love and respect themselves first.
WHAT IS EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION?
Considering intra-family communication There may be a misconception that this communication consists only of verbal communication. In fact, in our daily life, communication is not limited to verbal communication, contrary to what is known. According to the researches, nearly sixty-five percent of communication is composed of our body language, gestures and facial expressions. Verbal communication constitutes close to 15 percent of the mutual communication, which proves that almost most of the communication is through our body language. Our body language is more realistic and sincere for the people we communicate with. Because it is natural and reveals it when acting. For this reason, even if what we say is important to the other party, it is important to use body language. After achieving harmony, it becomes convincing, significant and meaningful for the other party. The other person, from child to adult, deserves unconditional acceptance and respect. The first step of communication is respect, and if there is respect in communication, we are striving to remove many other communication barriers. Another condition for effective communication is the ability to empathize. Empathy is being able to look at the world with the eyes and feelings of the other person. Having an effective communication with the people we fully empathize with will come naturally and will be inevitable. Another indispensable condition when communicating effectively is to listen. Without an active listening, unfortunately, an effective communication will not be possible. The person being listened to can be a mother, father or child. The fact that individuals are in different roles should not change the effectiveness of listening. However, especially when communicating with children, adults trying to make eye contact by leaning towards the child's height will support an effective communication within the child. In active listening during communication between adults and children, the child has only himself. Their own thoughts, feelings, behaviors and the way they put them into words and reflect on their body… The family should be able to listen to their child as they are, without interfering with what the child is saying. The child is very sensitive to the gestures and movements of the parents. If he feels that he is not being listened to, he may close himself off from communication. Not being taken seriously by his family can upset and hurt him. If this turns into a recurring situation over time, the child may experience many individual variability problems such as anger problems and intolerance towards his family. Over time, these problems can become serious problems for the family.
WHAT ARE THE BARRIERS IN FAMILY COMMUNICATION?
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You language instead of me language of family members. their use. The child realizes his first learning in the family. If the parents prefer you language more in the language they use against the child or their children, the child will naturally learn the use of the language you in the child and the solution of the problems will become more difficult.
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The fact that individuals in the family use imperative sentences in their communication and that individuals speak by intimidating each other are among the biggest obstacles to communication. Most mothers and fathers, when communicating with their children, communicate with the child by suggesting a way they find themselves, without giving the child the chance to find a solution, thinking that this can be beneficial for the child and that they can make much less mistakes in life. This form of communication is technically inappropriate, even if its purpose is in good faith. The child may feel inadequate after a while, avoiding communication with his mother or father, and may become introverted.
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Families should try to stay away from judgmental language as much as possible while listening to their children, and should file down their fault-seeking sides. Families should actually be able to learn to talk to children like children.
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To have expectations above the characteristics of the period from the child and to make negative evaluations about the child may cause the child to lose self-esteem. It should not be forgotten that the family lays the foundation for raising self-confident children, and the family must have succeeded in establishing a correct and effective communication with their child or children.
WHAT CAN BE DONE TO COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY ?
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Each of the members of the family should not neglect to spare time for each other. Here again, it should be mentioned that the husband and wife, who are under the influence of the new roles formed by the birth of the child, should not forget the role they used to be in. The family is not a community formed with the birth of a child. It is a family in individuals who are husband and wife. You should not neglect to spend time for each other as husband and wife first, and then of course, to spare time for the child. This is a great responsibility for the continuity of your family.
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Be careful to use the I language. It is a language that does not put the person in communication on the defensive, allows the individual to accept the negative effects of his behavior on the people around him, and prevents the repetition of the behavior.
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Take care to provide the conditions for effective communication. eye contact Build, listen, and don't judge or criticize. Give importance to be able to accept and respect unconditionally.
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You should always try to give opportunities to the person or people you communicate with and give them a chance to explain. Listen to the other party and try to convey what you have heard accurately and clearly.
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