It is seen that people who had a happy childhood are successful, self-confident and self-sufficient free individuals in their future lives. The greatest desire of the parents is that their children grow up to be happy, successful, self-confident, self-sufficient individuals, but sometimes wrong parental attitudes, parents' perfectionist expectations, inconsistencies in family relationships and border problems can cause children to be unhappy. In this article, we touched on the points that need to be considered in order to raise happy children.
PERFECTIONAL ATTITUDE
Each child has a different temperament, character, interest and areas in which he is successful. Comparing children with their peers makes them feel inadequate and their self-confidence is shaken. As a result, introversion, anger, aggression, and maladaptive behaviors may appear in the child. Each of the children is special and being aware of their potential without forgetting that they have different characteristics makes the child a happy individual. It is useful to accept the pros and cons of your child, no one is perfect.
UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE
Love offered under conditions causes the child to feel insecure. Conditional sentences such as I will get what you want if you are successful, I will not talk to you if you do not get a high score in the exam, and I will not get the toy you want if you do not get along with your brother are among the biggest mistakes made in raising children. For this reason, you may be asked questions such as I will love you even if you get a low grade in the exam, I believe you will be successful if you study harder, what should you do for this. It is important at this point to accept the child as he is. It is important to give the child the message that I love you for who you are and will always continue to love you.
GIVING THE OPPORTUNITY
Care should be taken to ensure that the child takes responsibility for his actions and behaviors. A responsible child is a self-confident child. Whether he succeeds or not, he thinks that he is trusted and his self-confidence increases, and accordingly, he becomes a happy child. There is no child without responsibility, there is a child who is not given responsibility. Parents who take on every task and remove the obstacles in front of the child It takes away the child's opportunity for self-development. Responsibility is a skill that is acquired over time. It would not be right to expect a child who was never given responsibility when he was a child to take responsibility when he grows up. Success and happiness also require responsibility. Children who are not allowed to take responsibility tend to attribute all failures to external causes. The question parents should ask themselves at this point is what were the responsibilities you took at your child's age and how much of your child can do those things?
TIME Spent together
The time spent together in the family has a very important effect on the emotional and social development of the child and on being a happy individual. The game is the language of the child; It is the most important tool for self-expression. Children remember the games played with them, not the toys bought for them. They begin to feel valued because of the time spent with them. If you want your children to be happy individuals, it is recommended to spend more time with them.
TO BE CONSISTENT
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The child first observes and then behaves as he observes, learns as a role model with social learning, so parents must be consistent. If there is an inconsistency between the parent's word and behavior in the family, or if there is inconsistency between the parents, the child cannot understand what is good and what is bad, perceives this as an imbalance and tries to create his own balance. A child in this imbalance cannot be expected to be happy.
Teaching to question
Children are very open to learning, they constantly strive to explore with curiosity. That's why they always ask questions and want to discover new things. It would be useful to allow the child to question in order to be an independent and free individual, to answer the questions he/she asks as far as we know, and to say that you can research together if you don't know the answer to this question. It is observed that children who question and discover are always more confident and happy children.
SHOW EMOTIONS RELIABLE
Parents need to show love in order for the child to feel valued and special. Showing your feelings by hugging, hugging, telling him you love him will make your child happy. At the same time, studies show that oxytocin hormone is secreted in the body during hugging, the person feels happy when the hormone is secreted, and this hormone strengthens the body's immune system.
HAPPY PARENTS
The basic formula of happiness in a family is that parents are happy. Children are the mirror of the family. If there is unrest, tension and unhappiness in the family, the child will also be unhappy. Children's perceptions are very clear, and although the problems between parents are tried to be hidden from time to time, children often feel negativity. If you want your child to be happy, be happy too. Remember, happy family always means happy children.
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