Obesity is the story of hurt souls hidden behind layers of fat. Them; Every time they look in the mirror, when they take their first step in a new environment, during shopping, in the family, in the assembly of friends, in short, everywhere they feel defective. He tries to hold on to life and socialize with the sense of imperfection given by the thick appearance of his body, but (defect scheme), the image of their large body beyond the standards is unfortunately not welcomed by others and is often integrated with his soul. However, they are one of the most hurt people in life (hurt child mode). They suppressed the unhappiness, stress, anger, and the pain caused by the trauma in their lives and always threw them inside (emotion suppression scheme). And in order to get rid of these pains they felt in their souls, they sought something to console themselves (detached consolation mode). The reason for their overeating is nothing but a small break in happiness given to unhappiness and lack of love.
Just as a baby needs his needs to be met peacefully in the tender arms of his mother whenever he feels nervous, he too throws himself into the arms of food to relieve himself (oral obsession, freud - detached comfort mode). Thus, he gets rid of the feelings that bother him instantly. However, when the little pleasure of food is over, it turns into a cinderella like in fairy tales. At that moment, he faces all the facts he has escaped, the weight he gains begins to grow in his eyes, and at that moment the voice of his self-punishing conscience accompanies him. “Of, I wasn't going to eat that last meal, I won't eat anything tomorrow!” (punishing parent mode) I don't know how many times he made the decision to diet after this sound. However, he failed. Diet and sports are things that force the body, and for this, it needs to get out of the comfort zone. (insufficient self-control scheme) on the past family life that makes him feel unloved in life, with the addition of the thoughts of imperfection given by the weight, the thought that no one can love me is deeply engraved in his mind (emotional deprivation scheme). Maybe he has had bitter experiences where his faults were brutally reprimanded, ridiculed or even insulted. It is these experiences As a result, he may have thought that everyone saw him as flawed and made fun of him (the schema origin of the imperfection schema and the skepticism schema). He may have isolated himself from all people by believing that he will not be loved by anyone with his intense feelings of imperfection (social isolation scheme-social withdrawal mode). After isolating himself, he binge eats to alleviate the feelings in his soul (detached consolation mode); Unfortunately, the weight placed on their feet has increased even more. The enlargement of the body has dragged him further into a dead end. Every time he stands in front of him completely and looks in the mirror, he slaps his face like a slap on all the problems he thinks he has overcome by eating. The feeling of lovelessness that he felt most in his childhood has been replaced by the feeling of unlovedness this time. He could not find an environment in which he felt he belonged, believing that while he himself did not like his appearance, and that no one else could love it either (defective scheme, social isolation, schema submission). Now she needs to fearlessly face her suppressed and ignored emotions, and to live and express her emotions in a healthy way. As he gets rid of his emotional burdens, both his soul and feet will find peace. (transition to healthy adult mode)
In this issue, I would like to tell you about the movie My Fat Darling. Hanna has a big loving heart that draws attention with her warm voice; she is a fat, clumsy and relatively ugly girl. His biggest dream is to become a famous singer, but the biggest obstacle in front of him is his outward appearance (imperfection scheme). In a society that thinks that beauty beyond ideals will not take place on the stage, she is only a voice left behind the scenes (the high standards of the society). Her impressive voice and attractive body made Amy a popular artist in Korea, and Hanna also works on phone sex applications by using her voice to earn money to meet the needs of her father who is in a mental hospital. Hanna, where only her voice is heard he worked in jobs where his body was well hidden (imperfection schema- schema avoidance). Hanna is madly in love with Sang-Jun, Amy's producer and lover. Even though Sang-Jun doesn't know it, Hanna sings all her songs out of love for him. Hanna's interest in Sang put Amy in a fit of jealousy when Sang hugged Hanna after the concert, and this is the trigger for all the events that will happen.
When Hanna goes to her friend and talks excitedly about her feelings for Sang and hugging him after the concert, her response is also hurtful.“ There are 3 types of women for men; beautiful ones are treasures. We the average are gifts, you're a waste, you know?” (Hanna's imperfection scheme is triggered) At this very moment, Hanna wants to eat in order to alleviate the hurt she has experienced. (detached avungan mode)
Amy sends Hanna a red dress on Sang's name that will make her lose weight and make her look flawed on Sang's birthday. And she wears the same dress herself, she. He will teach Sang and Hanna a lesson. Although Amy's behavior will hurt herself the most, she still can't stop herself (The overcompensation of the Imperfection scheme is trying to show someone else's flaws). Understanding the situation, Hanna leaves the birthday party crying. This annoyed Sang quite a bit, and she tells Amy: "You're so
funny, how stupid can you get? I will never understand. I want to live with style. But you are not helping. This is a problem for me. Do you miss the days when you were a backup dancer? Do you think I like him? You don't have to be reminded of who you are. Leave him alone. You should be grateful for coming to us. He is talented, but ugly and fat. You are talentless, but you are beautiful and sexy. Everything is fine for you. He lives for you. Listen, we're just using it. Do you understand ? Be kind to her. If he walks away, it's all over,” she says. (Sang's schemas that caused him to use Hanna for style;
status seeking schema submission, skepticism schema overcompensation - manipulative mode). all this Hearing this, Hanna goes home crying. This is her second traumatic love experience. The first time she fell in love with someone who sold diet pills. After selling those diet pills, she wished Hanna well and walked out of her life. He felt used with this traumatic love pain (imperfection, emotional deprivation and the pain of abandonment combined) took a lot of diet pills without eating anything and passed out in the hospital. (punitive parent mode) “I learned that night that love and diet are not for me,” she said. But since love is not a planned action, her heart has started beating for someone again. Hearing all this talk, Hanna's world is devastated again. She had fallen in love, believed, and trusted someone who would have made her feel flawed, but her feelings had been used. (Hanna, we can explain her falling in love with people who would make her feel flawed with Schema chemistry) And as if all of that wasn't enough, her ugliness and weight came out against her and all her flaws spilled out of the mouth of the person she fell in love with. She was a young girl and she needed to feel valued like the others. When her last hope was gone, Hanna really wanted to leave, not from behind the scenes, but from the world! She turned on the gas, closed the windows and was ready for death. (punitive parent mode). Until the phone rings. The caller is the esthetician customer in the sex application on the phone. When you talk to him, she suddenly wants to hold on to life again. And then he takes his breath with him. When the doctor said that the risk of death was high, Hanna said, “I died yesterday. My life is in your hands. You can end it or you can save it” and the difficult surgery begins. Hanna, what makes you think of committing suicide and then undergoing an operation with a high risk of death? All the emotional troubles she went through, her hunger for love, her flaws being hit in her face, her knowing that she can't be a woman who falls in love with this body, and the use of her own innocent feelings caused her to undergo this major change in her life. She believed that she could overcome all the pain she experienced only with an ideal self. And she went into major surgery, she. A perfect and natural beauty has emerged, although artificial then he got what he wanted. It has been renewed as if it were free from all its flaws. (defect scheme overcompensation, high standards scheme.)
Now, after a year of change, Hanna has turned into someone who falls in love with her. Even though she made the same moves, Hanna, who was rude before, has now taken on a great grace. She is someone no one will recognize anymore. It's time to let go of all the pain of the past. She, who once made fun of her flaws, will go to her great love who says she is using it. Her physical change made her feel very good spiritually and she has become Jenny now. She is an undeniably flawless beauty. However, things got more difficult when she had to hide her true self from Sang, Amy recognizing Hanna's voice and struggling to reveal this truth. Her efforts to hide herself have caused her to lose the people she loves, one by one. In this process, Hanna managed to make Sang fall in love with her and went a long way in becoming an artist. Although Sang's interest in him makes her happy, she knows very well that she will not be able to get close. Because every part of his body is made of silicone and it can appear as soon as he touches it. May be damaged etc. that is, Hanna's feelings of imperfection did not end even when she was in an ideal self and got everything she wanted (Imperfection Chart).
In the process, Sang realizes that Hanna's actions are hers. The next day is the big day. There is a concert. Hanna achieved her dreams as Jenny. A large concert was held in front of large audiences. She is not happy at all, while she is expected to fly out of happiness. The wounds inflicted by her ideal self harm Hanna's soul and build thick walls between her and all her loved ones. The responsibility of being Jenny now ends Hanna. She doesn't even want to go on stage, she's been dreaming of for years. With Sang's persuasion, she takes the stage. After she became Jenny, her father, whom she could not even go to, is there. The stage gets dark and the audience is waiting for him with excitement. The concert begins, but Jenny enters the stage, languid and sad. His father comes running to the front of the stage and sees
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