This is one of the sentences I often hear from parents: 'He obeys the rules at school and becomes a completely different person when he comes home'.
The reasons for this are;
The boundaries at home are more flexible than the boundaries at school.
The mother and father do not behave consistently,
The child does not know the real no, the mother and father often use the word no.
Positive communication between the mother, father and child is not provided< Examples such as /p>
can be given.
A few little tips for Correct Communication;
First of all, you should accept that your children are individuals and communicate with them. (Regardless of his age, if you explain the reasons for your requests from your child and if this is accepted by your child, he will perform that behavior.) Again, think about yourself as an individual, would you exhibit a behavior that you do not understand? Also remember that; Your children don't have to do whatever you want. You can find common solutions by talking to him about why he didn't do it.
Ask your expectations from your child, taking into account his development. For example; It would not be logical to ask a child who has not collected his toys before to collect them. You can help students learn such tasks easily by dividing them into simpler parts or gamifying them.
After completing these tasks; definitely appreciate it.
Focus on their successes instead of pointing out their shortcomings in the task. For example; To the child who has collected all his toys and one or two toys are left on the ground, instead of saying 'You have collected most of his toys, you did a great job, instead of saying 'Two of his toys are still on the ground.'
If you want him to listen to you, you should be the first Listen to your child. If you want him to know his limits and obey the rules, first obey his limits. Give him areas where he is free. For example; Again, let him be free to play in his own room as he wishes in his toy collection behavior and express that you respect this. 'This is your room and you can play as you wish, I respect you.' But the living room is a common area and you should collect your toys when you play there.'
Be consistent. without saying no Think twice before, do not say no to something that you will say yes to later, so that the child knows the real no and its limits. Let the father say yes to what the mother says yes, and let the mother say no to what the father says no. If there is an inconsistency, the child listens to the side that says yes, not the side that says no.
In some cases, something you say yes to may turn out to be no. For example; While you may allow him to eat with his hand in your own home, you may not allow him to eat as a guest. Be sure to explain this distinction to the child. Let him/her know why it is "yes" at home but "no" when visiting.
It is very important for the child to know the real no, the real no should be supported with the body, gestures and tone of voice. It is not necessary to be harsh here, but to appear determined. And definitely the reasons for good; should be explained to the child. Remember, you are not trying to dominate the child, you are teaching him your family boundaries as a partner.
Do not compare your child with other children. Every child is different and special, and so is every family. Every family has its own rules and boundaries. Compare your child to himself and focus on his development.
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