Peter Pan syndrome is a psychological symptom seen in men between the ages of 14 and 50, in which they avoid taking responsibility, exhibit childish behavior despite their mature age, and fear of growing up. So, what is Peter Pan syndrome and in whom is it most common?
Every child is born, grows as a part of his development and steps into adulthood; But some men show resistance to growth, regardless of their age. It's as if he avoids growing up and always wants to remain a child. At this very moment, the story of Peter Pan comes to mind, the naughty boy who refuses to grow up.
There is no one who does not know the story of Peter Pan. Peter Pan, a naughty boy who never grows up, is also a soft and cheerful hero. While watching, it not only awakens the childish side within you, but also draws you into its magic. It is no coincidence that this syndrome, discovered by Psychoanalyst Dan Kiley in 1983, is named after Peter Pan. Even though he seems like a mature individual with his age, he is still a child with his speech and behavior. This symptom appears in men; It generally covers the age between 12 and 50 years. These men, who are described as attractive by people who do not know them, leave a positive first impression on people. These men generally stay away from marriage; They prefer to live with their families to escape from responsibilities and live a comfortable and carefree life. They have difficulty deciding which profession they want to work in and have difficulty completing their education. Educated people, on the other hand, think that they need to do more instead of being satisfied with their current situation.
Men with Peter Pan syndrome generally have blunted emotions and they reflect their anger as rage and their sadness and grief with involuntary joy and childish jokes. They feel inadequate in the face of criticism and often use defenses such as "I don't know, I don't care", and they are lazy. They generally want to feel a sense of belonging, and since their tolerance for being alone is low, their efforts to make friends are high.
Men generally experience feelings of anger and guilt towards their mothers; They want to get rid of their mother's influence. But every time they try it They experience feelings of guilt. They try to end the argument with outbursts of anger with childish apologies. They have alienated feelings towards their fathers. They both long to be close to their father and have sharp thoughts that they will not receive his love and approval. Men with Peter Pan syndrome make intense efforts to find a girlfriend after adolescence; But their immature behavior causes them to push girls away from them. Sensitivity to rejection causes these soft and gentle people to hide behind their opposite, harsh and rude attitudes. They can have sex with countless people in order to prove themselves sexually, and when they decide on one person, they become completely attached to them and replace their jealous feelings with feelings of self-pity in order not to lose the other person.
When we look at the parental attitudes of people with this syndrome, they usually Parents who cannot set limits, fathers who do not recognize their emotions and are confused about this issue, overly protective mothers, communication errors within the family, and environments where there is no emotional sharing are seen.
Between the ages of 12-17:Irresponsibility, anxiety, loneliness and sexual role conflicts manifest themselves. He escapes from his duties and becomes lonely.
Between the ages of 18-22: At these ages, self-conceit, narcissism and chauvinist attitudes predominate.
Between the ages of 23-25:A vague and general state of dissatisfaction, a search for help by complaining about this dissatisfaction, and a severe crisis period due to unhappy and uncomfortable feelings are observed.
Between 26-30 years of age: The role of a grown adult.
Between the ages of 31-45:People with Peter Pan syndrome who are married, have children and have jobs, find life boring at this age, even though they have everything, live life monotonously and is in a hopeless situation.
Over 45 years of age:Older men are in a depressed mood and exhibit agitated behavior. He thinks of taking back his youth; Don't try to be a child, finds your life boring and rebels from this situation. They are trying to get away from the life style they do not want.
Families should accept that their children are now adults, make them feel their responsibilities and duties, and act accordingly; It is important for the individualization of men with Peter Pan syndrome that spouses treat their wives in a way that protects them like a mother, does everything themselves, takes responsibilities and makes them feel like an individual instead of treating them like a child.
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