Every person wants to be liked and appreciated. Having a positive self-image is a healthy thing. What is unhealthy is forcing the other person to like and appreciate them. Although the individual with a narcissistic personality organization seems to value himself very much and thinks he is special from everyone else, he experiences intense worthlessness inside and makes overt or covert manipulations to praise the other person.
How do we understand narcissism at first sight? ?
A person,
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When playing to the stands,
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If she's trying to please the audience so that people will like her,
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Intense feeling of being disgraced- If she's afraid of scratching her charisma,
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If she is constantly trying to keep her tail up
we can talk about narcissism there.
Playing-showing in the stands, It is the basic behavior of the narcissistic individual. The goal here is to get appreciation and admiration. Being successful is his life goal. But it has a purely extrinsic motivation: to receive praise. We can say that narcissistic individuals are addicted to praise. When someone acts neutrally or criticizes them, they can fall apart.
A narcissistic individual's self-perception and self-worth are related to how the other sees them. As long as he gets approval from others, he can maintain his self-confidence, even if the other party acts neutrally, he cannot tolerate, cannot live.
In adulthood, they cannot bond. Being close to people means getting in touch with the real me and showing it. Because narcissistic individuals feel very worthless deep down, they do not want to establish closeness and show their imperfect true self to the other party. Relationship means breaking, and he doesn't want to touch the parts he sees as worthless. Keeping distance means protecting yourself in a way.
Can't achieve equal relationship. There is a split in every relationship he builds. Good and bad. Valuable and worthless. The strong, the dominant, and the weak, the passive. The ordinary and the special. Being ordinary is very bad for him, he wants to be extraordinary. She feels bad when she doesn't do activities that make her feel unusual. There is a constant imbalance of powers. The partner is either exalted or humiliated.&nbs p;
A narcissistic individual sees women as second class. He generally perceives women as objects and thinks that they should meet their narcissistic needs. Sometimes, he reflects the positive features he wants to see in himself to his partner and idealizes him. He takes credit for himself through his idealized partner.
Narcissistic personality pattern is usually seen in men, but it can also be seen in women. These women are usually somewhat masculine.
A narcissist doesn't grow up easily!
Caregivers sometimes glorify the child in early childhood and sometimes they can be very angry. Both are bad. At a young age, the child looks at the faces of his caregivers and measures their reactions. What it achieves has 5 units of importance, and it needs 5 units of recognition and expects it. Sometimes caregivers appreciate 15 units, the child is confused. Even though he seems to be smiling and happy, it creates confusion in the child's inner world. Sometimes, instead of 5 units, it is not appreciated and valued at all. This is also harmful. It causes an intense feeling of worthlessness in the child.
Sometimes, parents collect praise from the society over the child. In this case, the child is always in the spotlight, whether he wants it or not. It is displayed like an item. Because of some of their characteristics, they get appreciation from the child. The inner needs of the child do not matter, they are as much as they bring praise.
Sometimes, parents want to manipulate the child in various ways and when the child wants to separate and individualize, they punish him by leaving him alone, abandoning him and devaluing him. The child has no choice but to follow the path drawn by his parents, being abandoned is like death for the child. Learning to please others in order not to be abandoned and humiliated, the child gradually distances himself from his real identity and creates false identities. When he becomes an adult, he repeats this relationship system and changes color and skin like a chameleon to be appreciated in every environment he enters.
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