One of the most common problems today; It is falling in love with another man due to the indifference of the spouse at home. Or falling in love with another woman. When your spouse under the same roof seems like someone else to you, it means you move away from him/her and your mind is always on someone else. These relationships, which at first begin with great passion and being attracted to the forbidden fruit
, after a while, both parties begin to think that this relationship has no end, and the relationship begins to consider separation and begins to experience unbearable pain.
At home. He/she begins to lose his mind around his/her spouse, constantly thinking about his/her lover, not enjoying anything, and struggling in unhappiness and despair. In this process, the indifferent and inconsistent behavior of the spouse at home pushes the lover to think more. Now the lovers have broken up and the lover, who thinks he is actually depressed, is suffering from deep love pain. Thinking about it, knowing that it is impossible
feels unbearable pain and happiness at the same time. A relationship that continues knowing it won't happen and breaking up lovingly, crying for no reason, a sad mood, not being able to have fun with anyone, being preoccupied with him everywhere, people always asking "what happened to you, you weren't like this, you were cheerful" "You are gone" speeches constantly alienate the person from other people. The guilt felt when looking after one's children at home, finding oneself in this predicament while saying "I would never do such a thing" and not being able to find a way out...
Sometimes I wonder how I made such a mistake. While I was belittling and belittling people on this issue, he started to think about how I could end up in the same situation. On the one hand, I wish I had never met him and everything would be the same as before, and on the other hand, I'm glad I knew him, I'm glad I loved him, he's so nice. It made me experience things, it reminded me of my femininity that I had forgotten for years. It made me feel that I was important again, that I was beautiful
and starting to think. But on the other hand, not knowing how to deal with this new situation in life, not knowing when this longing, longing and constantly thinking about it will end, uncertainty!
SO WHY DO WE CHEAT
p>Women Men especially cheat on their spouses not for simple reasons like men, but rather for emotional seeking.
Of course, this is usually the case. Since infidelity is generally a relational problem, we can look deeper and find the underlying
reasons, which may be due to the problems experienced in the relationship as a result of the personal characteristics of the spouses and their attitudes and behaviors towards each other. In fact, cheating is a result that involves both parties.
In other words, both the cheater and the cheated person play an active role in this outcome. In general, it is mostly women who look for affection, love, romance, excitement and surprise in their relationships. If a man doesn't buy flowers from time to time when he goes home, if he finds special days unnecessary and doesn't do anything, if he finds it ridiculous to hold hands and walk in the rain, especially if he doesn't tell you that he loves you, he always tells her how beautiful she is. If he doesn't feel it, it means he is not emotionally sufficient for his partner. In general, the most common reason for women to cheat is that they cannot get attention from their husbands. The reason why cheating is perceived as a concept specific to men in our society is that society does not put cheating men and women on the same level.
In our society, there are unfair and distorted social patterns; “A woman's cheating is a stain on her forehead”, “a man's cheating is the dirt on his hands”, “a man cheats” etc. define as . It leads women to unhappiness, despair and naturally emotional deception due to social pressure. Everyone likes to receive attention, to be complimented and to be admired, but for women, being admired is a much greater need and it is the most important point that affects women. If the spouses do not meet this need, and on top of that, they show interest in other women and the woman usually catches these cheating, they may turn to someone else who shows this interest. Women's feelings and thoughts being ignored by their husbands, expectations and needs not being met, problems being ignored, constantly being criticized and humiliated make women unhappy and they may turn to other doors and other pursuits. Women want their men to be so secure that they can
lean their back on a mountain, they want a partner who always takes care of her and her family. passi f, insecure men who do not take responsibility can be deceived at any time. Cheated spouses can cheat on their spouses just to experience the same feeling. In this way, they want to be liked by someone else
and also to repair their broken pride. Because some women cannot experience sexual satisfaction
from their husbands, especially because they are not found sexually attractive by their husbands, they may turn towards others who find them sexually attractive. Those who could not find the love they expected in the relationship, were married at a young age, or married their first date may sometimes fall in love again.
HOW TO DEAL WITH THE PAIN OF LOVE
Continue with your routine life.
/> Do not talk to the person you broke up with, your lover, unless necessary.
Don't be afraid of being alone: You are not the first to break up. Remember that life goes on.
Get rid of anything that has emotional meaning or memories for you, anything that reminds you of him/her, the objects that person gave you.
Delete your lover from Social Networks: Always delete your ex from social networks such as Facebook and Twitter. Following your lover
will cause you more pain. Deleting that person in this process will ease your pain.
Spend time with your friends and neighbors more often: When you are alone, you will think about the times you were together
and you will be more upset. Being alone makes it easier for you to think about him.
It will be good for you to distract yourself and talk about other things with your friends.
It's good that we broke up because... Make a list starting with... and try to think about the negative aspects of the person you broke up with. p>
Indulge yourself in new hobbies and social activities, it will be both an occupation and time to think less about it.
Never blame or shame yourself. Blaming yourself for cheating on your spouse is not a choice
It is an unexpected situation that happens to you.
If you receive support and receive psychotherapy, continue your regular sessions and trust your therapist.
Give yourself time. It will take some time for you to be the same as before. Yes, even if nothing is exactly the same as before, you will return to normal, rest assured. Do not be discouraged or give up in this process.
Avoid making important decisions. Don't make a decision about something important for your life. Wait for your
treatment to end. In this process, you may not be able to make healthy decisions and may experience regrets as a result.
Simplify your life. Instead of focusing on goals that you cannot overcome, do simpler activities and fewer things that you can handle easily. Don't take on big responsibilities.
Make a list of activities that used to make you happy and participate in activities that make you happy. Being in life
is possible by doing something that makes you feel good.
Realize the small changes in your life, no pain ever stays at the same level. Pay attention to the little steps
you take. The small improvements you make during the treatment process will give you strength, do not ignore them.
Do sports. Join the gym. Exercising will make you feel good by increasing the endorphin hormone.
Eat healthy and regularly. Healthy nutrition is essential for the effective functioning of both the brain and the body.
Pay attention to sleep patterns. Sleep relaxes, renews people, and gives strength to cope with stress.
Your perspective may be completely negative and hopeless at first. Become aware of your negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts.
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