Being hurt and broken are the emotions that most remind us that we are human and have a heart..
I emphasize this in every article of mine, we are human and helpless, we are not okay.
It is not always possible to stand up against life events that challenge us and to overcome them easily, and it is normal that this is not the case.
In the journey of life, we try to mature and grow.
Living; It is a concept that we learn not by reading from books, but by experiencing it ourselves.
It is not possible to learn things, change things, discover our weaknesses, get to know the other person, move forward, grow, and mature when everything is fine and we are not experiencing any pain.
That's why first It is important to understand this; being broken and sad will teach us a lot.
We will get stronger from where we are broken.
We will learn to approach ourselves with compassion.
First we will allow ourselves to be sad, then we will wipe our own tears, and when our pain subsides, we will ask ourselves; “Where did I make a mistake? Which of my attitudes, words or attitudes could have brought the events to this point? Could I have contributed to this incident happening this way and making me feel so sad? I know it is very difficult to think about this at first, but believe me, when you think about it, you will be able to solve things.
Because changing yourself is much easier and more possible than changing someone else.
But if we always find the problem in the other person and try to change them, we may find ourselves experiencing the phrase wasting time.
Changing ourselves; Don't let it be understood as always giving, always giving, or making sacrifices. Maybe you are adopting an attitude that will allow them to upset you. The main thing is to realize what this attitude is.
Think and discover your weaknesses. Then focus on what I can do to strengthen it.
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Another step; To be able to communicate healthily. Instead of blame language, I language. Expressing what you feel is really important. If you start the sentence with "you", the other person will feel blamed and will directly get defensive and won't hear what you say. Therefore, expressing your feelings will help him/her hear and understand what you are saying.
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Forgiveness is perhaps the most difficult thing after being hurt. Everyone, everything that is done I cannot say forgive you, but if you can forgive, you will save yourself from a huge burden on your back.
It was in a movie that I love very much; “Revenge is not a good thing, Mathilda, forgetting is good..”
Get rid of your burdens.
Being hurt is about you, but the issue he hurt you about is about him.
His style, his thoughts, his communication skills, his character...
All of this has nothing to do with you
Everyone can express what is inside them
If you save yourself from taking this situation personally, it will upset you less and it may be easier to forgive.
And there is something else that will enlighten the heart and give you coolness; Praying for the person you are angry with.
It is a great sign of maturity that will contribute to your growth.
People want to act motivated, but for some things, it is necessary to take action first.
First action, then motivation. Sometimes it comes.
If you want to get motivated first, ask yourself this; What kind of person do I want to be?
When you are hurt or angry; Is he someone who gets offended, fusses, complains, blames and contributes nothing to the solution? Or is it someone who allows me to experience my pain and does my part by expressing myself to the other person without blaming him/her?
Maybe it may be easier to get motivated and take action with the answer to this question.
I believe that even though it is difficult, these pains always make us feel like they do. will continue to grow
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