Subjugation Chart

Some of the following explanations are very familiar to you if you have a subjugation scheme:

• I'm not saying my true thoughts so they don't get angry/offended/fight.

• I give up my wishes so that they don't get angry/offended/fight with me.

• I don't say my thoughts in case they retaliate/insult me.

• I say things I don't want to happen because I'm afraid they will get angry/offend me.

• I rarely say this to people when they hurt/make me angry.

• I often feel angry and resentful, but usually I just blow it off

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• In my relationships, I usually leave the decisions to my partner/friend.

• I have trouble drawing my boundaries.

• It feels like they don't respect me and take advantage of me.

• I look very compatible, but I'm actually angry at everyone.

• My wife/friend's Their wishes are more important than mine.

• I try to please other people so they don't get into fights/offend me.

• Seeking my rights when getting a job I worry that I will have to. Sometimes this anger suddenly explodes.

• Because of my anger with them, I get late for their calls, I don't pick up their phones, I do the things they ask me to do halfway.

• I'm so sick of conformity that I oppose everything.

• I'm so tired of conforming that I do contradictory things like alcohol and drugs.

• I'm so sick of being fit that I hurt/hit someone.

• I got feedback that I had sudden outbursts of anger.

If you have the Submissiveness schema, you are likely to have experienced one of the following three things as a child:

• When I was younger, I was severely punished or retaliated for when I spoke out.

• When I was little, I was forbidden to speak up.

• Such as "You don't talk to adults like that" I've heard a lot of things.

• My feelings and desires were downplayed by the feelings and wishes of my siblings/mother/father.

• Physical/emotional /I was sexually abused.

• I had an abusive mother/father.

• There was a lot of noise in our family.

How does the submissiveness scheme affect your life?

• You feel insecure, crushed because you are not defending yourself.

• You feel powerless and in control because you don't stand up to people.

• You have trouble drawing your boundaries.

• Retaliation /because you are afraid of being insulted/offended, you sigh and get tired of it.

• It feels like people are taking advantage of you because you never say "no" to them.

• You are deprived of the pleasure of presenting yourself as an individual.

• You experience dissatisfaction in your relationships because you cannot be yourself; you do not share your sincere feelings and thoughts.

• You are indeed with abusive spouses/friends. These people are violating your boundaries.

• You have difficulty perceiving who you really are (for example, you don't know what you feel, what you want.)

• Tired of trying to please others.

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