A person's relationships with other people throughout life, his experiences, and his comments and decisions regarding these experiences are important factors that affect the formation of personality. For example, public speaking attempts and experiences during childhood, and the feedback received from those around them and the synthesis of their comments about themselves can be determining factors as to whether a person will have enterprising, shy or aggressive personality traits in his or her future life. Because based on this information, the person decides what kind of person he is and will be; He bases his expectations on himself based on this information.
This structure, called the self-concept; It is shaped as the person's feelings and thoughts about himself and turns into behaviors that can be observed by other people. These externally observable elements also play a role in shaping a person's relationships with other people.
Acquiring information about the various characteristics and developmental periods of children is very important in understanding them, communicating with them better, and coping with the difficulties experienced from time to time.
The rate of development may fluctuate and vary depending on each developmental stage and each child. Although each child's development speed and pattern are different, in general, each child grows through the same developmental stages.
Development is a process with its cognitive and social aspects. During the development process, children play an active role in cognitive and social areas by adding new knowledge to their old knowledge and internalizing this knowledge. In this process, children;
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from dependence to autonomy,
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from self-centeredness to sharing,
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from impatience to postponing one's wishes and learning to wait,
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from inconsistent behavior to consistency,
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from sudden changes to a more balanced state of emotions. emotional state,
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thoughts develop and change from concrete thinking to abstract and logical thinking.
MOTHER AND/ OR THE IMPORTANCE OF THE CAREGIVER
The love of the mother and/or caregiver is given in a balanced, continuous and consistent manner, at least for the nutrition of the child. It is as important as the necessary nutrients. In many studies, the consequences and effects of mother-child separations, even for short periods, have been examined. Research results show that if the child is provided with good backup care, the caregiver does not change frequently, and good relationships are developed with the child, children are not traumatized by this separation, are minimally affected, and even contribute positively to their development as they gain new experiences.
What affects children is neither the mother's work nor the fact that they grow up with a substitute caregiver. What affects children is not the duration of the relationship established between mother and child, but the quality, the mother's attitudes and the sense of trust she inspires in her child.
Working mothers may feel guilty and experience tension with the concern that they neglect or neglect their maternal duties due to their responsibilities at home and at work. And for these reasons, they can be more tolerant, set fewer limits and apply looser discipline in their relationships with their children. In addition, they may be extremely concerned about their children and tend to protect their children more than necessary. Such behaviors, usually done without awareness, negatively affect the social and emotional development of children.
THE IMPORTANCE OF THE FATHER IN THE CHILD'S DEVELOPMENT
From birth, children establish a bond with their fathers as well as their mothers and develop a sense of trust. . Research results show that children who have a secure relationship with their fathers are more social, academically successful and more self-confident. Research results indicate that the absence of a father affects children's mental functions, especially. Children show various psychological reactions to the absence of the father. Research emphasizes that these reactions vary depending on the father's role in the family, his communication with the child, the child's age, the duration of separation, the mother's characteristics and the quality of the child's relationship with other members of the family. In the long-term absence of the father, more aggressive behavior, irritability, decreased school success, antisocial behavior and adjustment problems were observed in children. In addition, the father's positive and qualified attention has a positive effect on the child. It has been found to be highly associated with leadership, adaptability, mathematics success and positive sexual identity development.
Children need a relationship of commitment and trust, attention and love with their fathers as well as their mothers. There is.
It is very important for the child to know that there is a hierarchy in family relationships. Children should be given the right to speak and their ideas and feelings should be learned, but decisions concerning family members should be made by parents.
Things to Consider in the Child's Personality Development
As a parent, give your child unconditional love.
Make sure you are consistent when raising children. behave.
Be consistent within yourself and be an example with your behavior.
Do not reflect your arguments and concerns on your child.
Meet your child's basic needs.
Be a trustworthy parent.
Trust your child so that he/she can trust himself/herself.
Spend quality time with your child.
Do not use violence against your child, do not punish your child excessively.
Approve and reward positive behavior.
Guide your child to achieve realistic and achievable goals.
Create opportunities for your child to experience the feeling of success.
Do not show your own personality conflicts to your child.
Do not be an overprotective, authoritarian, indifferent parent.
Trust your child. If you trust him/her, the child will also trust himself/herself.
Do not compare your children with other children.
Create opportunities to demonstrate their talents.
Do not blame them when they fail, do not use derogatory words. Investigate and support the reasons behind this.
Let your children take responsibility.
Be tolerant of your child's minor mistakes in the tasks he tries to do on his own. During this period, children want to be liked and appreciated for the good work they do.
Make a supportive approach to your child, not a discouraging one.
Control friendship relations from afar without letting them know.
Instead of telling your child what to do, give him as many options as possible. Try to guide their choices.
Do not force them to do anything, but encourage and support them in what they can do.
Do not project your own fears onto your child.
Never give your children a bad life. , do not impose negatively. Children should always look at the world positively.
Help your child's emotional development and expressing his/her feelings.
Do not evaluate your child by his physical characteristics. Be careful that your child's physical characteristics do not negatively affect his personal development. Make sure that they have a regular and healthy diet.
Support introverted, insecure, quiet and touchy children to do activities that will give them the opportunity to change these aspects of themselves; but do not take any action by making decisions on their behalf.
One of the greatest needs of children is the need to live a happy life, and the greatest duty of parents is to make the child experience this.
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