1. PARENTS ARE BLAMED BUT NOT TRAINED
In this book, parents, who are not subjected to any training even though it is the most difficult profession, will not only learn the methods and skills, but also when and for what purpose they will use them.
The success of E.A.E. is possible if it is applied together by the mother and father.
Parents can be roughly divided into three groups; Those in the first group believe that they are always right and have power. and those who force the child to obey the rules with their authority; those who intimidate and punish with punishment if necessary; The second group is those who give their children too much freedom and believe that not meeting the child's needs is harmful; Those in the third group are those who are floundering.
Today's parents do not know anything other than the "I win, you lose" or "you win, I lose" method in raising children. E.A. The method of the E. program is called "There are no losers".
2. PARENTS ARE PEOPLE, NOT GOD
*You don't have to be consistent to be an effective parent. It is inevitable that parents will be inconsistent. If they try to be consistent, they cannot be realistic.
*If you cannot accept the child's behavior, you should not act as if you do. If you don't feel like loving, you shouldn't pretend to love. You don't have to show fake acceptance and love in order not to discriminate. (Honesty). It is the child's understanding of real feelings.
*You and your spouse do not have to create a common front in your relationships with your children. (It is possible that one of the parents is fake)
*The most important thing you need to do is learn to recognize your emotions.
*Parents who accept (really, sincerely) many things their children do or say are people who are They will raise children who feel accepted.
*Do not try to change the child's behavior by setting limits and prohibiting. All children hate prohibitions.
3.HOW SHOULD YOU LISTEN TO CHILDREN TO TALK TO YOU?
Acceptance Language
* One When a person feels that he is accepted by someone else as he is, then he will start to think about how he will change, develop, be different and be better than he is, without moving from where he is.
* Acceptance, a tiny society. It is like a fertile soil that helps it grow and turn into the most beautiful flower it can be.
* The more you tell the child what it is, it will become it.
* The most effective ones are those who can convey to those who come to them asking for help that they truly accept them.
* It is one thing for parents to accept the child, and another thing for them to make him feel this. Unless the parent's acceptance reaches the child, it has no effect on the child.
* We know that it is not necessary to have knowledge of psychology or understand people's minds to be a good counselor. The important thing is to first learn how to talk to people constructively. Psychologists call this "therapeutic communication". (Making people feel good, encouraging them to talk, helping them explain their feelings, reducing the feeling of fear and intimidation.)
* Parents should not interfere with the child and They can show their acceptance. Generally, fathers do not allow children to be left alone to their own pursuits, and they find it very difficult to take their hands off the children.
* Often described by parents, therapists, and counselors as "Typical Twelve" They use verbal responses called These are:
1) To give orders, to direct;
2) To warn. to intimidate
3) To give moral lessons;
4) To give advice, bring solutions and suggestions
5) To teach, to give a speech, to put forward logical thoughts;
6) To judge, to criticize, to blame;
7) To praise, to be of the same opinion;
Read: 0
