Family is one of the most basic institutions of the society consisting of mother, father and child or children. However, this institution went into disintegration over time for various reasons, resulting in a single-parent family. Today, there is a lot of difficulty in the continuity of the families formed, and the family institution is going to disintegrate, with a great increase every year around the world, under the influence of historical, sociological and psychological changes from the past to the present. While one of the biggest reasons for this distribution is divorce, the death of one of the spouses, the long-term absence of one of the spouses and the preferences of the parents are also classified under general headings where the reasons are collected. . In our country, custody of a child or children as a result of divorce, if they are younger than 6 years old, is given to the mother without leaving the choice to the child. As a result of this process, the mother takes the first step towards single parenthood, even if the father is alive or can contribute to the care of the children. Single parenthood that begins with the loss of one spouse is just as traumatic as parenthood that begins as a result of divorce. The mother or father now has to meet the responsibilities and needs of their child or children alone. For the remaining family members, the time to return to the normal process first depends on personal coping skills and the ties of family members. With the loss of one of the parents, the death of the family members is difficult to accept, and there is a deep mourning. The long-term absence of one of the spouses for various reasons may cause the remaining parent and their children to be stressed and anxious. The reason for the long-term absence of the parent also affects the anxiety levels of the family members. While the remaining family members of a parent who had to leave the house due to the military service process can overcome this situation in a healthier way, since this situation is known months ago and the necessary precautions can be taken, in case of a sudden war or being put in prison, the remaining family members are under a very high level of anxiety and fear. . In this case, the other parent tries to meet the needs of the child or children by trying to fill the place of the two parents. At this point alone Parents with responsibilities should not neglect their own health and needs. Parents who try to keep the living conditions of their child or children at a good level should not forget that this is to protect both their physical and mental well-being. Being another single parent family, one of the reasons may be choices, namely the deliberate or unknowing birth of a child out of wedlock or adoption. For these reasons, in our country, it is difficult to adopt a moderate approach to families with preferably single parents, and this causes them to be unable to find other sources of social support in single-parent families. This experience can harm both the parent's role as mother or father and the healthy psychosocial development of the child or children.
In cases where a single parent is a father, fathers are concerned that their child or children can grow up with sufficient love and attention; Single-parent mothers worry about their children's economic livelihood and the lack of time they can devote to their children as a result of their growing role.
WHAT MOM OR FATHER TO DO IN SINGLE PARENT FAMILIES?
If mothers or fathers are solely responsible for the care of their children in our country, they may have to experience a role confusion against their children with the suggestion of 'You must be both a mother and a father'. The mother or father should not try to fill the void of the absent parent, they should be able to understand the feelings of their child's deprivation of his father or mother, and try to meet this need as much as possible with his interest and love. However, by making changes in the roles, the parent should not be replaced. A mother or father should not fight to be both mother and father. This creates a very confusing situation for the child or children.
Parents should not make negative statements about their divorced spouse, and should not force their child or children to be a supporter. Parents may generalize this situation a little more and think that it is healthier for the child to keep the divorce process, the situation of another parent away from home, as if the deceased parent's death is a secret from the child. Your child should know why their parents are not with them. � This situation or situations should be explained to the child by using appropriate language according to the child's age and level of development and by the person or persons with whom the child has a trust relationship. For example, the child should hear about the death of his mother from his father, not from someone else, the child of your next-door neighbor. In this case, there may be a possibility that his trust towards his father will be damaged. The child can calm down the fears and anxieties brought about by the death of his mother, with the support of the remaining parent. Children should not be held responsible for parents' anger or hatred towards each other. Parents who experience such feelings or behaviors against their child or children should seek expert support.
Single-parent families should get rid of social and individual prejudices and take care not to be enslaved by the rumors of the environment.
Single-parent family members should try to find the positive and strengths of being a single parent, and the child or children growing up in a single-parent family, and family members should discuss these with each other. Family is the greatest emotional and social support.
Families raising a single-parent child should spend special time with the child as much as possible, and when the child goes to the other parent, the other parent should be in constant communication with the child. It is useful to distinguish between husband and wife and parenthood with clear lines. Husband and wife can be resigned and divorced, but the duty of mother and father is lifelong and there is no such thing as divorce.
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