We know and believe that every living thing will taste death. But it is not possible to be ready for death. Perhaps the loss of our loved ones scares us the most. Especially sudden losses can turn our lives and emotions upside down.
Guest of God, Dear Hakan
One day, there was a sudden knock on the door of the center where I worked in the past. When I opened the door, Hakan appeared before me before I knew what was happening. He said that his brother was stabbed, he was in intensive care and his condition was serious. "I'm in so much pain, tell me something," he said. I felt what you said inside me. The only words that came out of my mouth were 'I'm so sorry'. I invited Hakan in first. I didn't have a magic wand. No tool or word could end this pain. We were only with Hakan until he received the news of his brother's death. We felt his pain. We felt pain together. After the news of his death, Hakan did not want to go home. But despite everything, he had to stay with his family. Finally, we took him to his family. She found a little more strength when she held her brother's 2-month-old baby in her arms. There was no description or cure for this pain.
Mourning
Mourning exactly refers to this emotional process after loss. Mourning is a period of pain. The period of time when pain is experienced to its depths. And it is actually a period that heals through experiencing the pain. For this reason, mourning is actually a path that must be passed for healing.
Hakan coming to us that day was very necessary for the mourning process. Because Hakan, who could not shed a single tear to stand strong with his family, was able to cry loudly in front of us. The mourning process is this crying. If he hadn't cried, he wouldn't have been able to express that feeling of pain. It has made us a means of the mourning process.
When does mourning become abnormal?
If the heavy mourning continues for more than 1 year, it is a prolonged mourning situation. may be the subject. In this case, if the person cannot continue with his/her life, it will be necessary to seek professional help.
Mourning does not end completely.
When a person loses a loved one, 100 candles burn inside him/her. It burns inside. Over time, in the time of healing, each candle goes out one by one. Each fade is slow and refreshing. But lastly there is one candle left. That candle will never go out more. It burns throughout life and reminds with longing the loss. Continuing to live is only possible with the work of that last remaining candle.
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