Writing the Destiny of the Relationship

Everything that is alive has a lifespan. If we are talking about the lifespan of something or a phenomenon, we are usually referring to a cycle. Any cycle returns to its starting point if no intervention is made. If the relationship between spouses is left to its own devices, it will end in its own cycle or change shape. Many people have described the cycle of relationships that lead to marriage. For example, sociologist Reuben Hill defined the family life cycle in 9 stages, taking into account the spouses' ability to have children and the stage at which the children are: Establishment, new parents, preschool, school-age family, family with adolescent children, family with young adults, family as a place of placement, post-parental family, old-age family. Carter and Mc Goldrick, E.G Duvall, Sorokin, Zimmerman and Galphin, Kirkpatrick, Cowles and Tough... are the people who define family life cycles close to Hill's view.

 

In this article, we especially We will talk about the romantic cycle of the relationship. Generally, a relationship begins with romance, facts are encountered, reactions to these facts begin, the parties show their opposition to the reactions, and then continue with accusations. At this stage, two things happen: first, they end the relationship, and second, they choose to restructure their relationship. Many couples' relationships occur in the above cycle. In other words, if every relationship is left to its own devices, it will suffer the fate of a classic relationship. It is in your hands to write the fate of your relationship.

 

How? If a person knows what will happen, he can take precautions. For example, you want to go from Ankara to Istanbul and there are road works in Bolu. So you have to go the old way. You know the old way takes longer. If you have to be in Istanbul at a certain time, you can calculate this and get to your destination on time without any difficulty. Knowledge makes you strong.

 

As can be seen from this example, you must first learn the process of a classic relationship as spouses. As explained above, relationships first begin with romance. During this period, decisions are completely dominated by emotions. Oxytocin, known as the love and commitment hormone, has reached its peak. The power to pierce mountains because you love with the romance of a poet � you feel it in yourself. The decisions made during this period have no "mind". You ignore many issues that will bother you later. Especially when you see the features that you felt were missing or were uncomfortable with in previous relationships, you won't care even if you see the features that will disturb you because they will arouse admiration in you.

 

The second stage of the romantic relationship is the encounter with the facts. As the "blindness" of love decreases, you begin to see behaviors that are not compatible with your feelings, thoughts, values ​​and personality structure, but at this stage, this does not bother you. You have high hopes that the characteristics that cause doubts and discomfort will change within you. Sometimes you doubt yourself. You say, “Oh no, it can't be that much.” You try to test your doubts, share them with friends and clarify them. It is extremely wrong to make any decisions during this period. If you react to ending the relationship, it will be a decision made too early. The events that brought you to this decision are not only the problems in your current relationship, but also the fact that you define the problems you experienced in your previous relationships as unresolvable.

 

After this stage, you start to gently express the behaviors that disturb you in your partner. Depending on the other person's personality, there may be three types of behavior: listening, objecting, not taking responsibility. Of course, the hope should be to show the behavior of listening and understanding you. Generally, the number of couples showing this behavior is very rare.

 

After this, the stage is reached where the relationship becomes more intense and the fights increase. At this stage, you report your discomfort and in return, you will be notified of your discomfort. Counter-accusations and efforts to direct the discussion issues through the other party are abundantly displayed. Along with the initial oxytocin hormone, serotonin, known as the happiness hormone, is creeping in places. Some search for a solution begins, and every search for a solution that cannot be found begins to feed the thought that "this relationship will not go away anymore." Most relationships end at this stage. Past experiences of the parties, personality traits, social environment Its stages and obligations determine the intensity of the effort to be made to repair the relationship.

 

If the relationship is not ended, the relationship needs to be restructured. The initial phase of the restructuring of the relationship begins with resentments and resentments. If there is no expert support in restructuring, couples try ways based on their own experience. Sometimes they find workarounds. For example, it may happen that one party withdraws and adapts to the other party, which actually postpones the problem. Sometimes they make new rules and remove things from their lives. Or both couples withdraw and develop a tasteless relationship model. This situation will often push couples to seek happiness in other things and people later on.

 

For a healthy restructuring, creating an atmosphere where spouses can talk about all their problems comfortably, express themselves freely and be listened to without being judged. must. In other words, the parties must develop a real democratic attitude. At this stage, professional help will prolong the life of the relationship.

 

So, if there are such difficult processes, how will we write the fate of our relationship? If you know the stages and features described above, you can become aware of the problem at each stage and move on to the last stage, "developing a democratic attitude", without going through the other stages. This way, you can put your relationship on a democratic basis. A relationship can be created in which not only one party lives its own existence, but also both parties can live their own existence. If you do not have this knowledge and awareness, your relationship will go through the general relationship process, which we call “your relationship lives its destiny”.

 

As a result, what you will do to write the fate of your relationship yourself; Knowing the relationship process, being able to observe your own and your partner's behavior objectively, and improving your ability to discuss your problems and find solutions in a democratic atmosphere when problems arise. During the relationship process, the goal should not be not to cause problems, but to be able to talk and solve the problems that arise.

 

You want to gain the ability to write the fate of your relationship. with his hand.

 

Read: 0

yodax