Anger Management

How to Help Children Calm Down

For adults, tantrums are often perceived as moments when a child loses control over their behavior. Some parents think that the tantrum will go away on its own if the child does not take care of it. Some parents also think that taking care of the child will calm them down.

Temperature tantrums, whether mild or severe, are a key indicator that a child is struggling with emotions she cannot regulate. Anger is the strongest emotion that children lose control of. Children often feel that they deserves or needs something that has been deliberately withheld (cookie, video game, something coveted at the toy store) and when they don't get it, they feel disappointed and unfair.

Skills that need to be supported

Whatever triggers their anger outbursts, children who experience frequent emotional outbursts are more likely to experience frustration, anxiety, or anger. Some skills need to be supported to help them better cope with the situations that cause them. These skills are;

Impulse control
Problem solving
Negotiation (discussion) skills
The ability to communicate wants and needs to adults
The ability to know what is appropriate or expected of them in a given situation
The ability to self-regulate (self-control)

A tantrum is a learned behavior?

Children who have severe tantrums do not deliberately do their tantrums. However, through visual reinforcement from adults, they may have learned that anger tantrums have results.

Whatever the reason, the first step in tantrums is to understand the triggers that create the emotion of anger and to guide the parents to manage the outbursts.

Parents can help children manage their emotions because they can control their behavior more.

How can “angry” help a child?

After anger Behavioral approaches, in which parents and children work together to rein in emerging behaviors, are key to helping the situation.

Find triggers

The first step to managing anger is to help a child burst into anger. Understanding the triggers that cause it. So, for example, if walking out the door to go to school is a chronic problem for your child, it is possible to set the clock earlier to wake up earlier, prepare his clothes in advance, take a shower before going to bed in the evening, and find other methods for the child to find a solution. With this; It can also be helpful to explain the responsibilities or the steps to be taken by reinforcing them with visuals and hanging them in a visible place in the room.

Consistent parenting

When a child becomes stubborn and defiant, and emotional outbursts arise, the reaction of parents or caregivers influences the likelihood of recurrence .

How should parents behave? It is the desire of all parents to develop behaviors in a positive way and to be consistent with the behaviors you want to discourage. But achieving this may not be easy. What can be done?

Don't give up. resist the urge to end the situation by giving your child what she wants, even if she's having a tantrum. Surrender teaches him that only tantrums work.
Be calm and consistent. When you control your own emotions, better, more consistent results are inevitable. Strong or angry responses, whether verbal or physical, tend to increase the child's aggression. It is important to remember that by staying calm, you are also modeling and teaching your child the type of behavior you would like to see in them.
Ignore some minor negative behaviors and praise the positive ones often. Ignore minor negativities, because frequent scolding or telling the child to stop can reinforce their negative actions. Instead, give ample praise for the behaviors you want to encourage.
Use consistent results. Let your child know what the consequences of negative behaviors will be as well as the consequences of positive behaviors. For example, if the use of tablets is provided in positive behavior, the option of eliminating the tablet for a while in negative behavior should be made. You also need to show the children that you follow these decisions every time.
Wait to talk until you calm downyin. Unnecessary effort One of the things we spend is trying to explain the logic of a situation to an angry child. At the same time, you will not be able to maintain your calmness in this situation, so it will be difficult for you to communicate well.
Search for ways to calm down and guide. It helps to learn ways to calm down and then model and guide the child. For example, starting to do breathing exercises is very effective in controlling anger. In addition, you can support it with methods such as meditation, resting in a quiet place, crying or shouting.

How to Help Children Calm Down

Whether mild or severe, tantrums are a key indicator that a child is struggling with emotions they cannot regulate. Anger is the strongest emotion that children lose control of. Children often feel that they deserve or need something they have been deliberately withheld (cookies, a video game, something they coveted at the toy store), and when they don't get it, they struggle to cope with feelings of disappointment and injustice.

Skills that need to be supported

Regardless of the trigger for their outbursts, children with frequent emotional outbursts need to be supported in certain skills that will help them better cope with situations that cause frustration, anxiety or anger. These skills are;

• Impulse control

•Problem solving

• Negotiation (discussion) skills

• Ability to communicate wants and needs to adults s

• The ability to know what is appropriate or expected in a given situation

• Self-regulation (self-control) ability

Are tantrums a learned behavior?

Children who have severe tantrums do not deliberately do their tantrums. However, through visual reinforcement from adults, they may have learned that tantrums produce results.

Whatever the cause, the first step in tantrums is parental guidance in understanding the triggers that create anger and managing the outbursts.

Because parents can control their behavior more, they can help children manage their emotions.

How can he help an “angry” child?

Behavioral approaches, in which parents and children work together, to rein in the aftermath of anger, are key to helping the situation.

1. Find triggers

The first step in managing anger is to understand the triggers that cause a child's anger outbursts. For example, if walking out the door to go to school is a chronic problem for your child, it is possible to set the clock earlier to wake up earlier, prepare his clothes in advance, take a shower before going to bed in the evening, and find other methods for the child to find a solution. With this; It may also be helpful to explain the responsibilities or the steps to be taken by reinforcing them with visuals and to hang them in a visible place in the room.

2. Consistent parenting

When a child becomes stubborn and defiant, and emotional outbursts occur, the reaction of parents or caregivers affects the likelihood of the behavior occurring again.

So how should parents behave? It is the desire of all parents to improve behaviors in a positive way and to be consistent with the behaviors you want to discourage. But achieving this may not be easy. What can be done?

•Do not give up. Even if your child is having a tantrum, resist the urge to end the situation by giving him what he wants. Surrender teaches him that only tantrums work.

• Be calm and consistent. When you control your own emotions, better, more consistent results are inevitable. Harsh or angry responses, whether verbal or physical, tend to increase the child's aggression. It is important to remember that by staying calm, you are also modeling and teaching your child the type of behavior you want to see in them.

• Ignore some minor negative behaviors and often praise positive behaviors. Ignore minor negativities, because frequent scolding or telling the child to stop can reinforce their negative actions. Instead, give ample praise for the behaviors you want to encourage.

• Use consistent results. Let your child know what the consequences of negative behaviors will be as well as the consequences of positive behaviors. For example, if the use of tablets is provided in positive behavior, the option of eliminating the tablet for a while in negative behavior should be made. You have to show the children that you follow these decisions every time.

• Wait to talk until you calm down. One thing we unnecessarily put effort into is trying to explain the logic of a situation to an angry child. At the same time, since you will not be able to maintain your calm in this situation, it will be difficult for you to establish healthy communication.

• Seek and guide ways to calm down. It helps to learn ways to calm down and then model and guide the child. For example, starting to do breathing exercises is very effective in controlling anger. In addition, you can support it with methods such as meditation, resting in a quiet place, crying or shouting.

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