“I've had enough of it, I would divorce if I had the chance. I'm tired of trying to convince my wife every day that I'm not cheating on her. Even though I give the necessary verifiable answers to all his allegations, he seems to be convinced at first, but after a short while he continues to accuse me where he left off. If he receives a phone call, knocks on the door, or a relative tells me about an incident, he immediately perceives it as an indication that I am cheating on him and starts to hold me to account, or if he can't do anything, he uses words. Sometimes he has a tendency to violence and tries to hit. I can't understand how he can make connections like this and slander me. We discussed this issue so much, the result is a big zero. There are also other people (his mother, his sister, his friend) who unknowingly give advice to my wife and add fuel to the fire. In their minds, they say that I would not do such a thing, and then they make speeches that agree with my wife. I'm so overwhelmed, what can I do?" I speak without looking at my uncle's face, stop laughing, I speak in such a low voice that what I say cannot be heard. I don't talk on the phone just to please him, I don't answer the doorbell. In the end, nothing changes, he still claims that I made him sleep while standing up and that I cheated on him with other people, and he forces me to confess. Will I be saved if I say "Okay, you're right"? No. He will probably increase the violence he uses and my death will be the solution. I'm done."
"What they say is preposterous, what kind of imagination is this? He makes impossible assumptions, constructs them, and then tries to prove them. It only does it to me, it doesn't show any color around others. All his grudges are towards me, I don't believe he is sick, he is very smart and intelligent.
“What can I do?” Answers to the question:
- First of all, you need to accept that your spouse has a health problem and he needs to get psychiatric help. Even though he is smart and smart, there is a distortion in his mentality and the mentality we call delusions is not your spouse's individual choice. On the other hand, your spouse is not aware of this negative situation, and it would be a mistake to expect him to accept treatment by saying "I am sick, I am thinking wrong." As the patient's relative, you should see him/her as a psychiatrist. What do you need to deliver? “How can I direct him to treatment?” You can ask the question to a doctor and get help.
- Just as it is wrong to accept his statements about cheating, it is also wrong to contradict him and defend yourself every time. It is enough to say what you think is true and to take a correct and clear stance; trying to prove what you say and trying to refute what he says may backfire. /li>
- What needs to be solved is primarily a health problem, acting as if the other person is an individual who can think clearly and thinking "he is doing it to me on purpose" can make you, him and the process worse.
- Away from white lies. It is necessary to stop, all the words that are said but not done, such as "I'm coming in 5 minutes, I'm going to stop by my friend so and so", will be quickly investigated by your spouse and used against you as evidence that you are cheating.
- Stay away from mysterious movements; hiding your phone and documents, speaking indirectly, being stubborn, giving evasive answers.
- Inform your relatives from whom you can get help, so that they do not add fuel to the fire and make well-intentioned but wrong speeches.
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