HAPPY FAMILY, HAPPY PARENT, HAPPY CHILD
One of the most important questions for parents is how effective their own attitudes and behaviors are in the development of their children. Having the right attitudes and behaviors of parents causes both raising happy children and healthy development of their children. Because the more awareness the parents have in their behaviors and attitudes, the more it is possible for them to direct their children's behavior in the right way.
Each parent has a unique parenting model. These parenting models are roughly; authoritarian, democratic, permissive or negligent parent model. Although the most preferred among these models is the democratic parent; the least preferred is the negligent parent model. I will not write about parenting models in detail, you can find a lot of informative documents from different sources about this subject.
. Obviously, the parent's own parenting model is not easy to change. What the parent should do; to recognize and understand their own parenting structure. When parents realize their own behavior, they begin to understand the effects of their behavior on their child. />
No matter how good or how bad the strategies you use, the main thing is to be consistent. If you are an indecisive, unsure or emotionally disordered parent, you may often backtrack on your decision and show different approaches to your child during the day or periodically. Your child will be affected by the inconsistent behavior of their parents. Inconsistent approaches; It negatively affects the child's self-perception, mental health, and learning ability.
- Do not be the wrong model
Children unconsciously imitate their parents' behavior. For example, you got angry and had a tantrum and your child saw it. B� Such a situation is both emotionally challenging for the child and this challenging experience causes the behavior to be remembered. The child learns that when he gets very angry, he can have a tantrum. Here, the child not only learns an undesirable behavior, but also internalizes your dysfunctional way of coping with stress.
- Nobody is perfect.
One of the most common traps parents fall into is being cruel to your own parenting. The parent, who believes that it has a negative effect on the child's psychology or that he cannot control his child, fights with himself for a while, and eventually cannot cope with his own perception of inadequacy and transitions to a feeling of abandonment. These parents are usually included in families whose personality structures are different from their child and where it is difficult to achieve harmony in family communication. However, the parent is very cruel to himself in the first place and the standards he expects from himself are very high. Remember, the perfect parent is a dream. The real thing is the parent who tries to take his child and himself one step further.
- Disputes in the Family
One of the biggest problems of parents is that although they pay enough attention to the child's development; It is the failure of the child to reach the desired point because other caregivers at home do not pay attention to these behaviors and others make mistakes in child development. Of course, it is very important to make inter-parent consistency and joint decisions in family communication and child development. But in cases where cooperation does not occur, take a break from trying to teach the other party the right behavior and focus only on your own positive behavior.
- Don't give up
One of the most common mistakes when approaching your child with a new method On the other hand, the method is abandoned because the method does not work. Behavior change in a child may not occur immediately. It is necessary to continue the methods that you are sure of or recommended by the expert for at least 2 weeks without giving up. . Negative parental behavior here He gets into conflict because he can't get his word more than because of his anger. Likewise, the child focuses not on whether the behavior is positive or negative, but on what the parent wants to do. For this reason, when the child is stubborn with you, you should calm down and not personalize the situation. Who is the boss battles will increase your child's anger and stubbornness. Your child does not have to do everything you say. The boss battles, especially between difficult children and dominant parents, may actually be due to the fact that the parent is a dominant character. The professional view of the parent will eliminate the roughness in communication with the child.
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