Divorce is one of the traumatic events that can happen to children. It means a lot of changes that may affect their development.
Parents may be aware of the fights going on within them, but they may not accept it until the divorce decision is implemented.
The reason for the divorce is also one of the factors that will increase the impact on children.
>There may be a difference between the process experienced by the children of parents who have a consensual divorce and the experiences of the children of a family where physical violence or arguments during the divorce process are not uncommon.
Parents should maintain their peace during the divorce process regarding what changes will occur in the child's life and living standards. should inform the child.
If there are going to be major changes, they should be made gradually and first the child should be allowed to get used to the new process.
An adaptation period is required for every change. It may be very difficult to get used to all the radical changes at once.
Parents should inform their elders (family) and share decisions regarding their children. Family elders should not be involved too much in this process. The involvement of adults may lead to negative developments.
The elders of the family should be made open to cooperation for the children.
After the divorce process, spouses may not be allowed, but since they will continue to be parents, the child should be with both parents. should continue the conversation. It should not be forgotten that divorce can be a difficult process for spouses as well as for children. Depression can bring on tantrums. When these are too high to be granted, psychological support must be sought.
It should not be forgotten that when spouses experience psychological problems, their children may be more affected. Remember that the more easily you can get through this process, the more you can help your child.
A depressed, depressed mother gives the child the image that everything is getting worse. There is an increase in the child's anxiety.
Parents who strive for the process and are successful in directing the process can give the child the impression that everything is going well.
Problems that may be encountered in children according to their developmental stages
During the 0-2 Years Period:The child's difference Even though we think it is not possible, during divorce, crying spells may become more frequent and sleep and feeding problems may occur.
The child should continue to meet with both parents, as divorce can be a difficult process for the spouses as well as being difficult for the children.
3-6 Age Period: Preschool children are the ones most affected by the divorce process. The child, who perceived himself as the focal point of the family during this period, said, "My parents quarreled and divorced because I was naughty, not well-behaved, and disobedient." can perceive. Bedwetting, thumb sucking, increased behavioral problems, and introversion may be observed.
The child, who begins to learn to control anger at the age of 6, becomes interested in sociality. Families whose divorce process coincides with this period should be careful.
7+13 Age Period: Even though the child seems to accept it as normal, they experience an intense feeling of guilt. They may side with the mother or father. It may manifest as an accusatory and intense hatred towards the other party.
The reasons for divorce should be explained to children at this age and no question marks should be left in their minds. The child should be treated as an adult and explanations should be conveyed in accordance with his age.
13-18 Age Period: Since it is the age of struggling with adolescence, it can be an additional source of stress during the divorce process.
The young person, who is already distant from his parents during adolescence, may show this distance as a little more distant.
He may begin to feel ashamed of the social environment and avoid groups of friends.
Girls have problems of trusting their parents. It can be seen as a tendency to find a protective person and approach the opposite sex.
Families with children may face some problems regardless of the age of the child. In this process, seeking expert support on the issues they deem necessary in restructuring the broken family and getting help in their own process and in the child's process can improve their future lives and lives.
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