It is thought and frequently stated that parents should always be loving, tolerant and friendly control people. This discourse is even stronger, especially today, when the "cafeteria approach to psychology" is widespread.
Parents also have feelings of anger, resentment and jealousy, whether we like it or not, these are expressed from time to time, intentionally or unintentionally. But if the general history of the parents' relationship with their children is good, the occasional outburst and slap will do little harm. This has the advantage of calming our emotions and also showing our children that we have the same problems they have.
Such spontaneous expressions of emotions provide knowledge of where right and wrong lie, with subsequent apology if we have overdone it. gives and differs from punishment. Bernard Show “never hit a child unless you are very angry” can be a good example.
Caring for other people's children is always easier than looking after your own. We must be thankful for the bond of love that binds parents and children together. Children always treat their parents more babyishly than they treat other people. We hear children say that their good behavior when they are with other people, but their challenging behavior when they are with their mother, is due to their mother not being able to handle them well. The general accusation is that the mother ruins the child.
The presence of the mother and father inevitably activates primitive and turbulent emotions that are not activated by other people. This is true even in the bird world. Although finches and budgies are very good at feeding, they quickly become babies when they are with their parents. Parents, especially mothers, are highly maligned people, in part because they are vilified both medically and non-medically by professionals.
Even so, it would be foolish to assume that we do not make mistakes. Some mistakes arise from ignorance, but many more arise from unconscious emotional problems in our own childhood. The difficulties experienced by children that appear to be due to the negative effects of maternal deprivation or excessive punishment and parental ignorance are actually a “we can say that it is due mostly to emotional difficulties that the parents themselves are only partially aware of and cannot control.
Sometimes they consult the latest books on how to handle their children. They attend psychologists' conferences, but things still go wrong. What we need to realize is; It is not just what we do that is important, but also how we do it. The connection between the mother's posture and anxiety is important. This means that, from infancy, people are more sensitive to the emotional attitudes of those around them than to anything else. Very young children are much more attentive than adults to the emphasis in voice tone, posture and facial expression, and are extremely sensitive from the first moment to how they are held.
Children do not have to be happy all the time, they need to understand what is going on around them. Even in difficult times, their parents should tell them the truth (in simple terms) and make them understand. It's much worse when kids realize something is wrong but no one talks to them about it. Dr. even recommended taking a young child to his grandmother's funeral and explaining the event to him in very simple words. Dolto: “Daughter, we are at your grandmother's funeral right now, these are the things that happened.”
Read: 0
