Communication is important in every field, and it also forms the basis of rapprochement and understanding between father and child. It is not possible to be clear and simple in an area or with a person where you think you are not understood. To establish a simple and healthy relationship between father and child; By listening to our child as meticulously as we would an adult, by making eye contact and giving feedback to what he says; We can make him feel that we are trying to understand him. Consequently. In order for the child to understand life and distinguish what is right and wrong, this communication between the father and the child, who is taken as a guide and authority, must be healthy.
From the moment children are born; begins to understand, make sense of and learn about life. In the period we call infancy, verbal communication is replaced by non-verbal communication and communication begins. Starting from this period, the child tries to share how his father communicates with him, through facial expressions, sounds and reactions. Thus, communication begins in infancy.
The fastest way for children to learn is 'learning by seeing'. In other words, it may be inevitable that fathers' behaviors and teachings towards their children begin to take their place among their children's life experiences. If, as a father, we want to prepare your child for the future and teach him what is right, we must do this, starting with your own behavior.
If we examine the biggest mistakes that we know to be true in the relationship between FATHER and CHILD, in 2 items;
1) 'My love' The thought of 'he knows how much I love him even if I don't show it' (what we call mind reading is trying to guess the other person's thoughts.)
2) These are thoughts such as 'If I don't show my love too much, he will respect me or not be spoiled'.
-1. If we examine the article; Loving the child and making him/her feel it physically will strengthen his/her feeling of approval and acceptance, allowing him/her to become more loving individuals and positively affect their lives and human relationships. Making decisions on their behalf or guessing their thoughts would be a useless evaluation in this sense. The feeling of being loved and approved has been among the most important needs of humans since their existence. The child feels loved, In an environment where they know that they are understood and that they have a say, they will have attained the power to ensure their autonomy, that is, healthy separation, and become individuals who can express themselves more easily in their preparations for life.
-2. To explain the matter; In order for the family structure and healthy paternal authority to exist, the father must have authority and boundaries. But in cases like Article 2; Fear or lack of love can be seen as an authority. This is definitely not a healthy authority. Boundaries can be set, but these should not be limits that are non-negotiable and where the child is not given a say. For example, instead of telling the child 'don't do this', you can offer him options. Here, you can give the child a choice and also make him/her take responsibility for his/her positive or negative behavior and understand that he/she is the one who will be affected as a result. But you cannot do this with fear or lack of love.
-Advice given in public or revealing the child's mistakes can cause distrust between the father and the child. Advice given in public can actually lead to a devastating loss of trust, feelings of guilt in the child, and anger towards the father. It should not be forgotten that; A father who wants to integrate his child into society; He/she must first implement the behaviors he/she tells and wants to inculcate in his/her child. Otherwise, an atmosphere of contradiction may arise for the child and the teachings you give to the subjects that prepare you for life may lose value.
-Children who are neglected by their father while struggling with daily hustle and bustle, work, life, marriage and living conditions may experience anger and resentment towards the father. Although they are in this situation, they may collapse as emotionally and therefore spiritually neglected children that can only be filled by the father's authority. This can shake the relationship between father and child. Therefore, the father must spend time with the child and volunteer to do quality activities with him. Accordingly, quality time spent with the child will strengthen the emotional bond between father and child. Loving, devoting time, giving importance, trying to understand your child will help your child to enter a better adulthood in the future and will strengthen the bond between you. It will make children stronger.
To leave a life full of love to our children, who are our future; We must raise our children in a loving environment and by making them feel loved.
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