What are the difficulties experienced by mothers of twins?
Pregnancy news is welcomed with joy by all family members, especially when it is a desired and expected situation. The news of multiple pregnancy, either naturally or as a result of treatment, brings with it anxiety as well as joy.
The thought of caring for two babies at the same time can often be worrying. It is difficult for a mother to keep up with two babies who need nutrition, care, love and protection at the same time. For this reason, it is important to have support that you can trust.
This support can be from family members or from outside. Active support from the father in twin baby care both strengthens the father-child relationship and reduces the mother's burden.
Should working mothers of twins take a break from their business life?
A woman with an active working life taking a break from work due to pregnancy and birth and then returning to work depends on physical, emotional and economic factors. If a woman is satisfied with her working life but feels unhappy and useless when she stays at home, these feelings are negatively reflected in her daily life and her relationships with her husband and children. In this case, the children can be left to a trusted person and the mother can return to working life.
In cases where economic support is required for the home, the mother inevitably returns to work. However, if there is no financial problem, if the mother wants to be at home instead of working, if she wants to take care of the babies herself instead of someone else, she can take a break from work until she feels ready.
How does dressing the same clothes and sending them to the same school affect children? What advice would you give to families?
We often see twins wearing the same clothes outside. Although this adds a cute appearance, children should not be dressed the same in order to realize their individuality and emotional development. Sometimes children may want to dress the same. In this case, they can be directed to wear similar clothes instead of dressing them exactly the same.
For example, they can be directed to wear different colors of the same dress or the same t-shirt, one with a car and the other with a motor. This orientation separates both twins from each other. It is necessary to protest and show them that they are different individuals.
School is one of the issues that parents of twins have the most difficulty with. Questions such as should they be in the same class or would it be better if they were in different classes are frequently asked questions. Considering the physical conditions of schools in the preschool period, twins are necessarily in the same class because there are generally no two different classes for children in the same age group.
While in the beginning, two siblings always wanted to sit and play with each other, over time they separated and started working with different people. They start playing. At school age, it is more appropriate to send two children to the same school, as going to different schools will put a strain on the parents in daily life.
Here, it is necessary to decide whether the twins will be in the same class or in different classes, according to the personality and development characteristics of the children. If one of the twins is more dominant over the other or acts overly protective of his/her twin, it is beneficial for the twins to be in different classes in terms of the personality development of the other child. However, if both children can live their own individuality and one does not get ahead of the other, there is no harm in them being in the same class.
How should a mother spend time with her twins?
Both children should be in the same class. It should not be forgotten that there is a need to be alone with the mother and receive attention and love. In addition to spending time together, one should also try to spend time with the children separately. Sometimes one twin may spend more time with the father and the other with the mother, and it is stated that this is the children's preference. However, this situation should not be left to their choice, the mother and father should be able to spend time with both children separately.
What should be taken into consideration to prevent twins from being jealous of each other?
Jealousy and Conflicts occur between twins as well as between siblings. In order to understand what they cannot share and to see how they reach a solution, it is necessary to be an observer rather than intervening. Approach like buying two of the same clothes, items or toys. It is not suitable for the development of the feeling of sharing.
Apart from this, one of the points that should be taken into consideration is not to compare children with each other, to set the same rules for both children, to exhibit the same attitudes, and not to be more protective towards one of them.
Suggestions for the family to individuate twins
It should be accepted that even though they are twins, they are not the same person. Although individualization begins at the age of 3, it would be appropriate to think of both of them as separate individuals from infancy and to behave accordingly.
Instead of referring to children as "twins", telling them their names, dressing them in different clothes, discussing personality and development, Having expectations and behaving in accordance with their characteristics and not thinking of them as a single person will be beneficial for the personality development of both children.
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