We observe that divorce rates have increased rapidly in recent years. When we look at the reasons for couples' divorce, we often encounter similar sentences. Couples state that they constantly experience conflict within the relationship and cannot resolve existing problems. Sentences such as "My wife does not understand me" or "We always argue about the same issues" are frequently encountered. So what is the most important source of these problems? Although the answer to this question will be given through different patterns of events and people in each household, a common point in the answers given is communication, which is perhaps the most important element of our daily lives. Deficiencies in the communication between couples gradually increase the size of the problems and eventually make the solution almost impossible.
With communication, we express our thoughts about an event, a person or an object to the other party. Being able to explain how an event affects us or what a conversation arouses in us is of adaptive importance in our social life. Thanks to communication, we not only convey our thoughts to the other party, but also our feelings. The process of expressing these feelings is of great importance, especially in our friendships and romantic relationships. Gaps in such an important element inevitably begin to damage the dynamics of the relationship. Although couples often share a common life within the household, they have a completely different world of meaning in their minds. That's why even someone you think you share all your tastes with may react differently when your life changes or you encounter a situation you've never encountered before. Because every individual evaluates events within the boundaries of his or her own world of meaning. In order to find common ground and have a healthy marriage, it is necessary to try to know the other person's world of meaning, the window through which they look at life, and to empathize with them. The way to achieve this is through effective communication, in which we explain ourselves in detail and listen to the other party carefully.
Couples need to express themselves, which is the basic element of communication. They will see that most, if not all, of the existing problems can be solved when they acquire the skills to communicate and listen to the other party. When we look back at most problems, we often wonder, “Why did this become a problem?” we can say. Because lack of communication creates a chain problem cycle between partners. This chain gets so long that we eventually forget what started the problem. Listening to your partner effectively is the most important key to healthy communication. If you think about what you will say while your partner is talking, or if you do not pay attention to what he or she is saying, misunderstandings may occur in the future, as you will only perceive part of what you hear. Misunderstandings, suppressed emotions and incompletely shared thoughts greatly negatively affect the relationship dynamics of couples.
How well we explain ourselves is also very important in this process. Sharing what we feel and think about an event with the other party, either during the event or without a long break, prevents or alleviates the elements that are likely to become problems. Otherwise, long breaks lead to the postponement of important conversations that need to be made about the event and increase the problems that may arise. Especially suppressing the problems we want to share with our partner will cause this problem to come to the fore in a more destructive way in the future.
Problems in communication are not only about saying things intentionally or unintentionally. Tone of voice, gestures and facial expressions, which are important elements in verbal communication, also affect the course of communication and therefore the course of the relationship. When partners shout at each other, the issue will never reach a healthy solution. At this point, it would be better to wait for the situation to calm down and share the issue as soon as we calm down. High tone of voice and impulsive movements will distract us from the content and importance of the topic being discussed.
This entire process requires mutual effort. If both parties contribute to this process calmly and devotedly, the negative effects caused by miscommunication can be eliminated. uks can be eliminated. Of course, providing all these will not lead to a perfect marriage or solve all the problems in the relationship. However, eliminating the problem of miscommunication, which is the source of many problems or causes many problems to grow, will make the life of couples easier. When we establish healthy communication, we ease the burden of the problems in our lives.
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