Trying to Change People's Minds

We have all tried to change the other person's thoughts from time to time. We do this so that he/she has the same opinion as us on any issue on which we cannot find common ground. But in doing so, we often miss the most important point. No one can change the other person's mind unless he/she wants it. This is why, after a while, we make an extreme effort to convince him/her of what we believe. Sometimes this situation turns out the way we want, and sometimes the effort we put in is in vain. Sometimes the other person pretends to change his/her mind and we believe it, but we also overlook this detail; The person either does this to evade us or does it because he wants to believe.

Let's think about some of the people you tried to change their thoughts or their behavior depending on their thoughts; your mother, your father, your spouse, your lover, your friend, your colleague, your boss, or anyone else you have no intimacy with. Your answer will be yes to at least one or two of these people. Because sometimes we do this without realizing it. We suddenly find ourselves in that discussion. But I believe that this situation mostly occurs between spouses or lovers. Because you want your thoughts, ideas and behaviors to meet on a common ground on your journey to share a life. Differences of opinion or arguments you had for this reason before marriage may not bother you much. But with your changing lifestyle after marriage, you want your spouse to have the same thoughts as you, to think the same as you and to act as you want, perhaps sometimes without even realizing it, and now you start to say the most frequently heard sentence; My wife changed after I got married.

Actually, when we look at it, nothing has changed, the differences of opinion you had before did not bother you much, but after we started living in the same housethis part It is very important for you to think like this, and this situation is starting to bother you. I wanted to give an example through spouse and marriage because these are the most common questions in these times. The run shows itself, so you try a few times to change your friend's or boss's mind, but you don't go any further. But the same situation does not apply to your lover or spouse.

When we look at this issue in general, no matter what position we are in; There is only one point we must accept; Unless a person wishes, no one can change his thoughts, ideas and accordingly his behavior, actions and thoughts. We will either accept people as they are or remove them from our lives if we can. Otherwise, we will be making a futile effort and this effort will wear us out over time.

 

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